Gag Me With a Spoon and Leave It In There!

If you asked me what the grossest candy I've ever eaten is (though I don't know exactly why you'd be asking me that, but you have asked me some weird questions in the past), I'd probably have to say that it would be Bertie Bott's sardine-flavored jelly beans, orange sticks (seriously, orange and chocolate flavors should NOT be mixed) or anything pineapple flavored.

But let's move on beyond the superficial aspect of taste. Sometimes taste isn't enough to judge what makes a candy gross. Let's use your other senses, like your sense of sight, your sense of fashion and your sense of common decency. Because I'm pretty sure that this candy violates all of those senses and more.

That's right, faithful readers, for only $17.99, you can get a box of 12 candy scabs! Yes. Candy scabs.

Lick Your Wounds candy features a plastic bandage that sticks on your arm, with a little compartment for your assortment of sugary blood clots. Simply open the compartment, take a lick and then close it again for future consumption - so not only can you gross other people out while you lick your band-aid, but you can also grow your own bacteria in that moist little compartment and gross out your digestive system.

Not grossed out yet? Well, then here's a close-up picture of the candy, complete with arm hair.

Lick your screen for a virtual taste-test!

You're welcome.

However, I like these posts to appeal to a wide variety of audiences. I know that this will really gross out a certain demographic of my faithful readers, so I've provided an alternate low-impact version of the Lick Your Wounds candy. Here's the gentler, softer Boo Boo Licks candy

Only $9 for six boxes with twelve gummy bandages each. They make great stocking stuffers - just place them on the heel to prevent blisters.

Everything's Better with Bacon!

Bacon.

Admit it, the mere mention of that word made you drool just now. Now wipe off your keyboard and let's get to the meat of this post (pun absolutely intended). Bacon can be used for so many things. It's used as a breakfast food, of course, it can be found on your salad at lunch and it will make any burger at dinner better.  Bacon has even made its way into dessert when it's covered in chocolate. Yes, bacon can do anything. Heck, I bet some vegetarians still crave the yummy, crunchy, chewy baconness of bacon!

And it was actually an alert vegetarian reader named Andrea who showed me that bacon is so much more than just a food. She showed me that bacon can actually heal.

Behold, the bacon bandage!

Now, in the spirit of full disclosure, I should probably tell you that this isn't real bacon. Real bacon can only heal the wounds of your soul, but these bacon-like band-aids are the perfect way to say "Hey! I got injured! And I like bacon!"

But it doesn't end there. Archie McPhee, the genius company behind the bacon bandage also offers a bunch of other bacon bounty including bacon air fresheners, bacon floss, bacon-flavored gumballs, bacon lip balm, bacon mints (don't quite know how that one works. . .oh well), bacon soap, bacon toothpaste and more!

Now some may say this is overload, but I beg to differ. In fact, I am willing to try every single bacon-related item on that site while incorporating something with bacon into every meal for an entire month. . .presuming someone else is paying for it. I've blown my months budget on a bacon suit.