Vacation: Nailed It!

I'm on vacation, but I still hold myself to a very strict and very self-imposed weekly posting schedule, so here's a video sent in by, alert reader, Ted. I think this video accurately and humorously portrays the difference between men and women.



See what I mean? I think this satirical conversation by Jason Headley -- yes I'm going to go there -- hits the nail right on the head. Boom!

So guys, next time you have one of these types of conversations with a girl, remember, it's not about the nail.

Ladies, What Does a Lightsaber Say?

During a company party last year, the comedian entertaining the group asked for one male and one female to join him onstage. My table volunteered me and I was then asked to face off with a female coworker named Shannon in a battle of sounds. I was asked to provide a sound effect (such as a machine gun and a lightsaber) and then Shannon was asked to do the same sound effect. The point of the exercise was 1. to entertain the audience and 2. prove, once and for all, that men are better than women at sound effects -- keep in mind that this was his theory, not mine.

I thought it was a bit unfair, initially, because I figured my female opponent would simply hear the way I did a sound effect and then copy it, but I was surprised to find out that the noises I have been making since I was a little boy didn't come as naturally to her. Shannon has a fun, outgoing personality, so I knew that it wasn't because she was nervous -- she just didn't have as much practice as I did making punching noises with my mouth.

And then, as I was chuckling about that experiment with my wife on the drive home, I challenged her to give a few of the sound effects a shot. The chuckles soon escalated to full-blown guffaws. Even though she had heard the differences in my sound effects and Shannon's, she still made noises like "pew, pew" when imitating gunfire. I was stunned. Men and women really are different when it comes to sound effects.

Shannon and I have exchanged a few light-hearted barbs since that party. Recently, she sent me the following video along with a note saying, "Just to point out that nobody even knows what a light saber is....boys or girls." And while I don't agree with her on that specific point (there are some good lightsaber noises from the men AND the women in this video), I'll let you, the faithful readers, be the judge of which gender makes the best sound effects in this highly entertaining short film.

I'm Not Alone - I Have Salad!

Now, I don't claim to be a historian, but, as we all know, Valentine's Day is the very special day where we celebrate the birth of Saint Valentine, who shot arrows at people until they married each other. He also gave out candy.

And since that day Valentine's Day has become a day for couples. Women get showered with flowers, chocolates, jewelry, stuffed animals and other gifts, while men get to buy these things for the women. It's a wonderful holiday.

But what about those that don't have someone on Valentine's Day? Women, in particular, seem to get very down on V-Day if they don't have someone to share it with. Not to worry, ladies! You don't need another person to enjoy Valentine's Day. You just need salad. That's right, salad!

Don't believe me? Take a look at this small sampling of pictures from a post on The Hairpin, a website created by Edith Zimmerman and Liz Colville. Edith happened to notice that, for some reason, there seems to be an abundance of pictures of women laughing while they hold bowls of salad. Apparently it's a marketing trick to get you to eat healthier. See if it works for you.

That's right. Stare off into the distance and laugh at your salad.

"Ha! Salad is C-R-A-Z-Y!"

That's right, ladies, fruit salad is just as funny as regular salad.

If you're still feeling lonely, even with your salad, add a glass of water. The combination is hilarious!

Indoors or outdoors, salad is endlessly entertaining!

You don't even need to be eating salad to enjoy your loneliness! Making salad is just as fun!

In fact, don't actually eat the salad - just laugh with your salad. After all, once you eat it, you'll be lonely again.

And believe it or not, this is only the beginning of "Women Laughing Alone with Salad." You can see the rest of the pictures from the article here.

I'd like to thank, alert reader, Ted for showing me how fun and funny salad can really be!

Happy Valentine's Day!