Some people just have no sense of humor!
Monday, August 4, 2008
Monday, July 28, 2008
Can You Relate?
Having worked in both food service and as a teller, I know the fear that comes when someone walks in and you wonder, even if for a split second, are they going to rob the place?
For example, when I was working at Quizno's one night, my fellow co-worker was in the back washing dishes and I was at the counter. I heard the door open and looked up to see a person in a gorilla costume walk in - and start right towards me. My heart sank, but thankfully I didn't die that day (otherwise, you'd be reading the words of a ghost! Oooooooooooooooooooooooooo!). The gorilla also had some balloons and a pizza with the words "Yes" written on it with banana peppers. I was being answered to a dance. Phew! I told you that people do creative things to accept invitations for dances! My co-worker and I laughed about it and then I changed my pants and went back to work.
I never actually had to deal with a robbery, but I'd like to think that if anything ever did happen that I would be able to respond with the bravery, courage and brainpower that employees of a Pizza Patron in Denton, Texas did.
Stephanie Martinez and Rudy Sandoval were working one night when a man came in dressed in a wig and sunglasses. He appeared to be holding a gun. And since it was July, both Stephanie and Rudy figured it had nothing to do with a school dance.
Stephanie was scared and started to get the money out of the cash drawer, and the robber even slapped Rudy around to get him to obey, but Rudy wasn't having any of it. He attacked the would-be robber and started punching him! And for a 17-year-old, he packed quite a punch. He knocked off the robber's glasses, he knocked off his wig and he knocked out the suspect. As the unmasked assailant slumped to the floor, Rudy wanted to keep beating him, but Stephanie held him back. A merciful act, you say? Kind of.
Stephanie was surprised to see that the dazed suspect was her father, Benjamin Ramirez.
But wait, there's more.
Dad managed to escape and was able to get to his getaway car where Stephanie's mother (Sonia Palacios) AND husband (Jose Miguel Martinez) were waiting to take him away. Witnesses followed the pickup truck the suspect was driving and all three were arrested. Denton police say that they don't believe Stephanie knew her family was planning the robbery. But you can judge that for yourself.
So apparently this was the Family Home Evening activity for the Martinez family and, sad for them, Benjamin did not manage to get the treat.
For example, when I was working at Quizno's one night, my fellow co-worker was in the back washing dishes and I was at the counter. I heard the door open and looked up to see a person in a gorilla costume walk in - and start right towards me. My heart sank, but thankfully I didn't die that day (otherwise, you'd be reading the words of a ghost! Oooooooooooooooooooooooooo!). The gorilla also had some balloons and a pizza with the words "Yes" written on it with banana peppers. I was being answered to a dance. Phew! I told you that people do creative things to accept invitations for dances! My co-worker and I laughed about it and then I changed my pants and went back to work.
I never actually had to deal with a robbery, but I'd like to think that if anything ever did happen that I would be able to respond with the bravery, courage and brainpower that employees of a Pizza Patron in Denton, Texas did.Stephanie Martinez and Rudy Sandoval were working one night when a man came in dressed in a wig and sunglasses. He appeared to be holding a gun. And since it was July, both Stephanie and Rudy figured it had nothing to do with a school dance.
Stephanie was scared and started to get the money out of the cash drawer, and the robber even slapped Rudy around to get him to obey, but Rudy wasn't having any of it. He attacked the would-be robber and started punching him! And for a 17-year-old, he packed quite a punch. He knocked off the robber's glasses, he knocked off his wig and he knocked out the suspect. As the unmasked assailant slumped to the floor, Rudy wanted to keep beating him, but Stephanie held him back. A merciful act, you say? Kind of.
Stephanie was surprised to see that the dazed suspect was her father, Benjamin Ramirez.
But wait, there's more.
Dad managed to escape and was able to get to his getaway car where Stephanie's mother (Sonia Palacios) AND husband (Jose Miguel Martinez) were waiting to take him away. Witnesses followed the pickup truck the suspect was driving and all three were arrested. Denton police say that they don't believe Stephanie knew her family was planning the robbery. But you can judge that for yourself.
So apparently this was the Family Home Evening activity for the Martinez family and, sad for them, Benjamin did not manage to get the treat.
Saturday, July 19, 2008
NanaNanaNanaNana BATMAN!
So. . .The Dark Knight -

I just saw it this morning, and can't stop thinking about it.
Here's my spoiler-free review:
This was one powerful movie. I mean, it's intense! My palms were sweating for the majority of the film.
I'd like to point out that despite the tremendous amount of violence in this film, there is surprisingly little-to-no gore or blood. This does not, however, mean that it's in any way family-friendly. This is not a comic book movie for kids - this is a gritty crime drama that happens to have people dressing up in costumes. My wife is still disturbed by the Joker and his antics and isn't allowing me to do my impression of him around the house. . .for now.
I'm not saying it's the greatest movie in the world, because it's not. It has flaws in both story and acting (though by no fault Heath Ledger. . .but I'll get to that), but it's right up there in my favorite movies of the summer so far. I really liked how it dealt with the idea of escalation and the morals of society. There were many layers to this film and I'm looking forward to discovering more and more.
Now, Heath Ledger -

I was worried when there began to be buzz about him getting an Academy Award that it would be a "pity Oscar" and I didn't think that was fair to him or the film industry. However, I was floored by his performance. The Joker is horrifying, yet endearing, violent, yet funny and entertaining. It's a character that you're not going to forget and it is DEFINITELY worthy of all the praise and an Academy Award.
I would definitely see this movie in the theaters again. And I would pay full evening price to do so. If I like it as much as I do now after multiple viewings, I plan to add it to my home movie collection.

I just saw it this morning, and can't stop thinking about it.
Here's my spoiler-free review:
This was one powerful movie. I mean, it's intense! My palms were sweating for the majority of the film.
I'd like to point out that despite the tremendous amount of violence in this film, there is surprisingly little-to-no gore or blood. This does not, however, mean that it's in any way family-friendly. This is not a comic book movie for kids - this is a gritty crime drama that happens to have people dressing up in costumes. My wife is still disturbed by the Joker and his antics and isn't allowing me to do my impression of him around the house. . .for now.
I'm not saying it's the greatest movie in the world, because it's not. It has flaws in both story and acting (though by no fault Heath Ledger. . .but I'll get to that), but it's right up there in my favorite movies of the summer so far. I really liked how it dealt with the idea of escalation and the morals of society. There were many layers to this film and I'm looking forward to discovering more and more.
Now, Heath Ledger -

I was worried when there began to be buzz about him getting an Academy Award that it would be a "pity Oscar" and I didn't think that was fair to him or the film industry. However, I was floored by his performance. The Joker is horrifying, yet endearing, violent, yet funny and entertaining. It's a character that you're not going to forget and it is DEFINITELY worthy of all the praise and an Academy Award.
I would definitely see this movie in the theaters again. And I would pay full evening price to do so. If I like it as much as I do now after multiple viewings, I plan to add it to my home movie collection.
Monday, July 7, 2008
*Laughter* Wipeout!
Yes, Wipeout is a great song (unlike some OTHER songs by The Surfaris I know), but it's also a very entertaining television show. For those of you who haven't heard about it yet, you obviously haven't talked to me in the past week (or you don't have unlimited text - I tend to text a lot and I don't want to give you extra charges). Wipeout is a new show on ABC that airs on Tuesday nights (at 7:00 MST) and, I have to say, I really enjoy it. It's great! Now, I know what you're thinking, "A great show? On ABC? During the summer? Give me a break!". . . .O, ye of little faith!
The premise of the show is very simple: it's a game show where contestants go through an obstacle course to win $50,000. But while the drama of who's going to win is enjoyable, the real reason to watch the show is for the. . .well. . .wipeouts.
The show reminds me a lot of Most Extreme Elimination Challenge (MXC) where crazy Japanese contestants practically killed themselves for who knows what kind of prize. I'm happy to see that Americans have finally reached that level of entertainment.
Granted there have only been two episodes so far (you can see full episodes online at abc.com) so I may be jumping the gun on this, but I've seen the first episode over five (5) times and I still laugh and cringe each time I see it.
It's this kind of entertainment that keeps me indoors during the summer. Well done ABC, well done.
The premise of the show is very simple: it's a game show where contestants go through an obstacle course to win $50,000. But while the drama of who's going to win is enjoyable, the real reason to watch the show is for the. . .well. . .wipeouts.The show reminds me a lot of Most Extreme Elimination Challenge (MXC) where crazy Japanese contestants practically killed themselves for who knows what kind of prize. I'm happy to see that Americans have finally reached that level of entertainment.
Granted there have only been two episodes so far (you can see full episodes online at abc.com) so I may be jumping the gun on this, but I've seen the first episode over five (5) times and I still laugh and cringe each time I see it.
It's this kind of entertainment that keeps me indoors during the summer. Well done ABC, well done.
Saturday, June 28, 2008
It's Not Just You
I remember when I was living with five other guys in college. While it was full of fun noises and we could be as messy as we wanted to be, there is a point where, I believe, every college man asks himself the same question: "Are my roommates stealing my food?"
You know the scenario -- you come home one day, excited to try the new Chef-Boyardee ravioli you've been saving for a special occasion (you passed your Physical Science mid-term with a 68% - Boo yeah!!!) and when you get home you can't find it anywhere in the one small cupboard section that you were allotted when you moved in (six guys take up a lot of cupboard space). You can't remember eating it, but the can is gone and now all you have left is a bag of old potato chips and a moldy onion.
Now, your thoughts may immediately assume the worst and you begin to suspect your roommate who doesn't ever seem to go grocery shopping, or the freeloader who doesn't even live in your apartment, but manages to sleep on the couch every night and mooches off your Ramen sometimes, but what if you didn't have any roommates?
Such was the case with a man in Japan who lived all by himself in a tiny one-story house in Fukuoka. The 57-year-old lived a quiet and normal life until, one day, he noticed that some of his food was missing from his cupboard. Now, he didn't have any roommates at the time, but he more likely than not went to college at some point in his life and, therefore, figured that it was stolen.

He set up a video camera so he could get the culprit red-handed. One of the cameras captured someone inside his home one Thursday after he had left and transmitted the images to his mobile phone. He called police, fearing a burglary. When the police officers arrived, however, they found that all the doors were locked and all the windows were closed. Now, I know what you're thinking, because I thought the same thing: Hungry ghosts!!!
The police, the unbelievers they are, searched for a more logical explanation. And they found one. . .hiding in the closet. Police spokesman Hiroki Itakura said, "We searched the house ... checking everywhere someone could possibly hide. . .When we slid open the shelf closet, there [Tatsuko Horikawa] was, nervously curled up on her side." The 58-year-old homeless woman admitted that she had snuck into the man's house OVER A YEAR AGO when the man had left his apartment unlocked and she had lived in his closet during all that time!
This was no luxurious walk-in closet, either. Horikawa was living in a shelf in the closet that was only 50 cm high! She had moved a mattress into the small closet space and apparently even took showers while the homeowner was away. Police spokesperson Itakura even called the woman "neat and clean" which is the differentiating factor between Horikawa and the majority of college roommates.
So the moral of the story is: if you want to steal your roommates' food, all you have to do is clean up your mess after you eat. It'll take them a year to figure out their food is missing and, by then, you'll have moved on to mooch off of another apartment.
And for those of you living on your own, if you can't find that block of cheese that you swore you bought the other day. . .check your closet, you might have a small, homeless Japanese woman living in there.
You know the scenario -- you come home one day, excited to try the new Chef-Boyardee ravioli you've been saving for a special occasion (you passed your Physical Science mid-term with a 68% - Boo yeah!!!) and when you get home you can't find it anywhere in the one small cupboard section that you were allotted when you moved in (six guys take up a lot of cupboard space). You can't remember eating it, but the can is gone and now all you have left is a bag of old potato chips and a moldy onion.
Now, your thoughts may immediately assume the worst and you begin to suspect your roommate who doesn't ever seem to go grocery shopping, or the freeloader who doesn't even live in your apartment, but manages to sleep on the couch every night and mooches off your Ramen sometimes, but what if you didn't have any roommates?
Such was the case with a man in Japan who lived all by himself in a tiny one-story house in Fukuoka. The 57-year-old lived a quiet and normal life until, one day, he noticed that some of his food was missing from his cupboard. Now, he didn't have any roommates at the time, but he more likely than not went to college at some point in his life and, therefore, figured that it was stolen.
He set up a video camera so he could get the culprit red-handed. One of the cameras captured someone inside his home one Thursday after he had left and transmitted the images to his mobile phone. He called police, fearing a burglary. When the police officers arrived, however, they found that all the doors were locked and all the windows were closed. Now, I know what you're thinking, because I thought the same thing: Hungry ghosts!!!
The police, the unbelievers they are, searched for a more logical explanation. And they found one. . .hiding in the closet. Police spokesman Hiroki Itakura said, "We searched the house ... checking everywhere someone could possibly hide. . .When we slid open the shelf closet, there [Tatsuko Horikawa] was, nervously curled up on her side." The 58-year-old homeless woman admitted that she had snuck into the man's house OVER A YEAR AGO when the man had left his apartment unlocked and she had lived in his closet during all that time!
This was no luxurious walk-in closet, either. Horikawa was living in a shelf in the closet that was only 50 cm high! She had moved a mattress into the small closet space and apparently even took showers while the homeowner was away. Police spokesperson Itakura even called the woman "neat and clean" which is the differentiating factor between Horikawa and the majority of college roommates.
So the moral of the story is: if you want to steal your roommates' food, all you have to do is clean up your mess after you eat. It'll take them a year to figure out their food is missing and, by then, you'll have moved on to mooch off of another apartment.
And for those of you living on your own, if you can't find that block of cheese that you swore you bought the other day. . .check your closet, you might have a small, homeless Japanese woman living in there.
Sunday, June 8, 2008
Once You Stop. . .You Still Can Pop
"I think Pringles' initial intention was to make tennis balls. But on the day that the rubber was supposed to show up, a big truckload of potatoes arrived. But Pringles was a laid-back company. They said 'Screw it. Cut 'em up.' " - Mitch Hedberg
I couldn't help but think of these wise words of wisdom as I heard the news that Fredric J. Baur had passed away. For those of you who don't know who Fredric J. Baur is (like me), he's the man who designed the Pringles potato chip packaging system. For those of you who don't know what the Pringles potato chip packaging system is. . .I feel pity for you.
Pringles revolutionized the potato chip container. Now you no longer had to feel shame as you tipped the bag and emptied all the crumbs into your mouth and all over the front of your shirt. The can gave you undamaged chips which enabled you to play the Pringles Chip Challenge. Here's how you play: Two (or more) people stuff the chip behind their lips, but in front of their teeth (the chip needs to be vertical and not horizontal). Then the two (or more) people stare at each other. When someone smiles or laughs, their Pringles chip will crack and they lose. It's simple, yet entertaining. . .and delicious.
But I digress.
Baur was very proud of his invention, it seems. He decided that he wanted to be buried in a Pringles can! Now, I know what you're thinking (because I thought the same thing) and no, it was not a custom-made giant Pringles can. Darnit. Baur was cremated and part of his ashes were placed in a normal-sized Pringles can (probably the blue "Ranch flavor" can because it's the best) and buried. Another part of his ashes were placed in an urn (a Sour Cream and Onion flavored urn, I bet) and buried and the final third of his remains were placed in another urn (I can't decide which flavor to choose - you decide) and given to a grandson.
Now, call me crazy, but this is not the way I want to go. I don't think I want my remains put in something that could be mixed up with pantry items. But at least this man lived to the ripe old age of 89. I guess things could be worse. For example, one could be buried by rednecks after dying because they mooned someone or something like that.
Pringles revolutionized the potato chip container. Now you no longer had to feel shame as you tipped the bag and emptied all the crumbs into your mouth and all over the front of your shirt. The can gave you undamaged chips which enabled you to play the Pringles Chip Challenge. Here's how you play: Two (or more) people stuff the chip behind their lips, but in front of their teeth (the chip needs to be vertical and not horizontal). Then the two (or more) people stare at each other. When someone smiles or laughs, their Pringles chip will crack and they lose. It's simple, yet entertaining. . .and delicious.
But I digress.
Baur was very proud of his invention, it seems. He decided that he wanted to be buried in a Pringles can! Now, I know what you're thinking (because I thought the same thing) and no, it was not a custom-made giant Pringles can. Darnit. Baur was cremated and part of his ashes were placed in a normal-sized Pringles can (probably the blue "Ranch flavor" can because it's the best) and buried. Another part of his ashes were placed in an urn (a Sour Cream and Onion flavored urn, I bet) and buried and the final third of his remains were placed in another urn (I can't decide which flavor to choose - you decide) and given to a grandson.
Now, call me crazy, but this is not the way I want to go. I don't think I want my remains put in something that could be mixed up with pantry items. But at least this man lived to the ripe old age of 89. I guess things could be worse. For example, one could be buried by rednecks after dying because they mooned someone or something like that.
Sunday, June 1, 2008
Pork, Beans, and 15 Minutes of Fame
Recently Weezer released the video for their new song, "Pork and Beans."
I like it. I like it a lot.
I enjoy it because 1. It's a catchy and fun song and 2. It showcases numerous references to internet videos that have been popular for the past couple of years.
Here it is, in it's entirety:
So, here's my point (aside from showing off a great song with a really cool music video), I enjoy funny/entertaining internet videos and always try to keep up with the latest and most popular ones. However, there are some in this music video that I don't know. I was hoping that you out there in Internetland could help me get some of the other inside jokes. These are the ones that I recognize in the order they first appear:
1. The Numa Numa kid
2. Drama Prairie Dog
3. Diet Coke + Mentos
4. G.I. Joe PSAs
5. Guiness World Record for most T-Shirts worn at one time
6. Chris Crocker (LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE!!)
7. All Your Base are Belong to Us
8. Miss South Carolina
9. Chocolate Rain
10. Shoes (WARNING: Contains strong language after 1:26)
11. Peanut Butter Jelly Time
12. Will it Blend? (one of MANY!)
13. Charlie the Unicorn
There are also various lightsaber moments that could refer to the various incarnations of the Star Wars Kid or other fan videos with lightsabers.
So, what did I miss? I know that I don't know who that karate guy is, or the rainbow socks girl, or the dancing guy. If you know who these people are, as well as any others I have missed, please let me know so that I can be better informed and up-to-date on the funny and entertaining You Tube videos out there.
In addition, you'll get to sound smart, which is always a plus.
I like it. I like it a lot.
I enjoy it because 1. It's a catchy and fun song and 2. It showcases numerous references to internet videos that have been popular for the past couple of years.
Here it is, in it's entirety:
So, here's my point (aside from showing off a great song with a really cool music video), I enjoy funny/entertaining internet videos and always try to keep up with the latest and most popular ones. However, there are some in this music video that I don't know. I was hoping that you out there in Internetland could help me get some of the other inside jokes. These are the ones that I recognize in the order they first appear:
1. The Numa Numa kid
2. Drama Prairie Dog
3. Diet Coke + Mentos
4. G.I. Joe PSAs
5. Guiness World Record for most T-Shirts worn at one time
6. Chris Crocker (LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE!!)
7. All Your Base are Belong to Us
8. Miss South Carolina
9. Chocolate Rain
10. Shoes (WARNING: Contains strong language after 1:26)
11. Peanut Butter Jelly Time
12. Will it Blend? (one of MANY!)
13. Charlie the Unicorn
There are also various lightsaber moments that could refer to the various incarnations of the Star Wars Kid or other fan videos with lightsabers.
So, what did I miss? I know that I don't know who that karate guy is, or the rainbow socks girl, or the dancing guy. If you know who these people are, as well as any others I have missed, please let me know so that I can be better informed and up-to-date on the funny and entertaining You Tube videos out there.
In addition, you'll get to sound smart, which is always a plus.
Monday, May 19, 2008
Revenge of the Sith
The wicked have prevailed once again, my friends. I don't know if it was because of money, power or influence, but once again a bad man is walking free and have left the innocent without justice.
I'm talking, of course, about Darth Vader.
Some of you may have heard that there was a recent attack on the Jedi Church. Yes, there really is a Jedi Church. A certain group of men decided that they believed much of the fictional mottos and creeds that George Lucas made up while he was a lonely teenager. So they follow the Jedi doctrine and have all of the fun that the Jedi in Star Wars have. . .except they don't have lightsabers and they can't control the force. . . . . . . .huh. . . . . that doesn't seem like much. . . .but I do know that the Jedi in the movies take an oath of celibacy and I'm pretty sure these guys are following that or, at least, using it as an excuse for their lack of contact with females - "It's a choice! I swear!"
But I digress. A while back Arwel Wynne Hughes, a 27-year-old Welsh man dressed up as Darth Vader by using
a black garbage bag and assaulted some members of the Jedi Church as they were doing some training exercises. Using a metal crutch as his lightsaber he attacked (and I am not making these names up) Master Jonba Hehol (aka Barney Jones) and his cousin Master Mormi Hehol (aka Michael Jones). Jonba got hit on the head, and Mormi received a bruised thigh. This truly was a disturbance in the force.
Why did Darth Hughes feel the need to attack these peaceful keepers of the peace? Was it because of his deep roots with the dark side? Was he following orders of the Emperor? Or was he really disappointed with George Lucas' latest versions of what was once a great franchise? Nope. He was just drunk. Arwel-kin claimed that he couldn't recall the incident because he had "drunk the better part of a 2 1/2-gallon box of wine beforehand."
It's still no excuse! This article, sent in by alert reader Miss Berrie, states that the slick Sith Lawyer, Frances Jones (there must be a lot of Jones' in Wales) convinced the judge that "He knows his behavior was wrong and didn't want it to happen but he has no recollection of it." Hmmmmm, that sounds like Dark Side talk to me.
And, after some research, I found what claims to be the video here.
The judge sentenced Darth VadHughes to two months in jail, yes, but he suspended the sentence for one year which is plenty of time for him to build a Death Star or something. And the judge gave him a fine of about $200, but that's nothing to Arwel Vader. His chest piece alone costs that much!
Will justice ever be served? I don't know. But it looks like this more like the ending of The Empire Strikes Back, rather than the ending of Return of the Jedi.
I don't want to leave you on a down note, so here's a different story about free cookies sent in by alert reader, Lobbie.
I'm talking, of course, about Darth Vader.
Some of you may have heard that there was a recent attack on the Jedi Church. Yes, there really is a Jedi Church. A certain group of men decided that they believed much of the fictional mottos and creeds that George Lucas made up while he was a lonely teenager. So they follow the Jedi doctrine and have all of the fun that the Jedi in Star Wars have. . .except they don't have lightsabers and they can't control the force. . . . . . . .huh. . . . . that doesn't seem like much. . . .but I do know that the Jedi in the movies take an oath of celibacy and I'm pretty sure these guys are following that or, at least, using it as an excuse for their lack of contact with females - "It's a choice! I swear!"But I digress. A while back Arwel Wynne Hughes, a 27-year-old Welsh man dressed up as Darth Vader by using
a black garbage bag and assaulted some members of the Jedi Church as they were doing some training exercises. Using a metal crutch as his lightsaber he attacked (and I am not making these names up) Master Jonba Hehol (aka Barney Jones) and his cousin Master Mormi Hehol (aka Michael Jones). Jonba got hit on the head, and Mormi received a bruised thigh. This truly was a disturbance in the force.Why did Darth Hughes feel the need to attack these peaceful keepers of the peace? Was it because of his deep roots with the dark side? Was he following orders of the Emperor? Or was he really disappointed with George Lucas' latest versions of what was once a great franchise? Nope. He was just drunk. Arwel-kin claimed that he couldn't recall the incident because he had "drunk the better part of a 2 1/2-gallon box of wine beforehand."
It's still no excuse! This article, sent in by alert reader Miss Berrie, states that the slick Sith Lawyer, Frances Jones (there must be a lot of Jones' in Wales) convinced the judge that "He knows his behavior was wrong and didn't want it to happen but he has no recollection of it." Hmmmmm, that sounds like Dark Side talk to me.
And, after some research, I found what claims to be the video here.
The judge sentenced Darth VadHughes to two months in jail, yes, but he suspended the sentence for one year which is plenty of time for him to build a Death Star or something. And the judge gave him a fine of about $200, but that's nothing to Arwel Vader. His chest piece alone costs that much!
Will justice ever be served? I don't know. But it looks like this more like the ending of The Empire Strikes Back, rather than the ending of Return of the Jedi.
I don't want to leave you on a down note, so here's a different story about free cookies sent in by alert reader, Lobbie.
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