Romance is Dead. . .Just Kidding!

Russia -- what a country!

In Russia, you can hire stuntmen, make-up artists and a screenwriter to help you with your marriage proposal. These Yes Men will then tell you that faking your own death to help your girlfriend understand what life would be like without you is, in fact, a good idea. But, then again, they'll probably agree to anything you say because you're paying them good money.

So then (once again, faithful readers, in Russia), you can set-up a fake accident scene, complete with blood, broken glass and a smashed up car and arrange it so your girlfriend finds you lying in the middle of the wreckage.

BUT WAIT -- THERE'S MORE!

After your Russian girlfriend is completely horrified by your condition, you can then lead her to an ambulance where you are put inside and a "paramedic" can tell her that you have, in fact, died. Sure, it may completely devastate her emotionally, but she'll be fine what she sees that sparkly rock on her hand, right?

And then, after all that, after all of these horrible ideas come to fruition and you have to wrestle your girlfriend to the ground to stop her from running away, believe it or not, in Russia, the girl will excitedly say "Yes."

Don't believe me? Then watch the video below of Alexey Bykov doing this exact same scenario to Irena Kolokov:



Now, I don't speak Russian, but I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that she's not yelling "Oh boy! I'm glad that I am dating such a clever man like you!" as she walks away from the ambulance. But she, apparently, forgave him, and she even looked happy and playful at the end. I don't see that kind of scenario working here in America. Heck, my brother got in trouble with his wife just for proposing with a ring that was yellow gold instead of white gold. So, faithful readers, let's just let these kind of proposals stay in Russia and not import them to the United States.

Please?

BUSTED!

Have you ever been caught doing something embarrassing? You know, like cheating on your diet, picking your nose or watching Twilight? And then you tried to cover it up or explain it away? If so, then you'll know exactly how this cat feels:



This video, sent in by, alert reader, Mitch, perfectly encapsulates a guilty conscience and an attempted cover up ("BARK! BARK! Bark. . .bark. . . . . .meow?").

I've always thought that cats were much smarter than they let on. This cat obviously learned Canineish just to mess with Fido next door, but only took the online course while his owner was away, so as not to raise suspicions. This way the human race would not learn of the extreme intelligence of their feline "friends" and therefore never expect the impending invasion/overthrow. But then he got cocky and careless and slipped up. . .big time!

We're on to you, cats. . .we're on to you.

Soviet Spies and Russian Sitcom Rip-Offs

Russia has given us many wonderful things: Russian nesting dolls, Eduard Anatolyevich Khil, classic Bond villains and Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky to name a few. But America's relationship with Russia hasn't always been so rosy. Believe it or not, there was a time when we believed that the Russians were spying on us.

Well, I hate to be the one to break this to you, faithful readers, but it looks like the Russians are still spying on us and they're not satisfied with military technology anymore - they want our television programs. That's right, our precious, precious TV shows.

This matter of national security was first brought to my attention by, alert reader, Jeff Tromphlin. He showed me the opening credits for a Russian television show called Project Popcorn (Проект “Попкорн”). 



Now, I don't speak Russian, but that looks pretty close to the opening credits for Mystery Science Theater 3000, one of the greatest TV shows of all time. But MST3K was only the beginning. After further investigation, I found a number of Russian rip-offs that shocked me to the very core.

For example, check out their version of the classic 80's television program, Married..with Children.



Счастливы вместе, or "Happy Together" as it translates to, has lookalikes for each member of the Bundy family! Shocking!

But maybe you're not the kind of person who watched Married...with Children or MST3K. Maybe your house was a little more strict and you could only watch wholesome, uplifting shows with a moral or some type of educational message? Well then, here's Russia's version of Full House:



I wasn't quite convinced that дом кувырком ("House Upside Down") was, in fact, Full House, until I saw that it was Dave Coulier (Uncle Joey) himself that posted the video. And, as we all know, if Dave Coulier says it, it must be true. I wonder if the Russian paparazzi is obsessed with the Tsvetkova twins. 

But we all know that TV sitcoms aren't worth their salt unless they feature our very own Tony Danza. But Russia, being the sneaky country that they are, has also copied Who's the Boss, and have creatively named it Кто в доме хозяин (Who's the Boss). They weren't even trying to hide this blatant rip-off!



You know. . .they can have Who's the Boss?. I'm ok with that one.

Now you're probably thinking to yourself, "Well, these are all old television programs from the 80s and 90s. Surely now that the Russians aren't our enemies, they don't have need for spying on us and stealing our TV shows!" Tsk, tsk, tsk. Oh, you poor naive reader. Watch the following clip and see if you can guess what modern TV show has been stolen by the Russkies. They call it Теоретики ("Theorists"):



It looks like the Cold War ain't over yet.

WOLVERINES!!!!

If You're Wondering. . .

When a band releases a single it's supposed to entice you to listen to the rest of the album. Weezer did a good job of this when they released Pork and Beans to get me interested in their red album, and now they've done it again with If You're Wondering If I Want You To (I Want You To), which is off their new album, named "Raditude."

Well, Weezer actually won me over BEFORE they released the single, when I saw the cover art of the new album:

I mean, how can you not love that?

Anyway, I thought the song was "a'ight" (as the kids say), but it wasn't until faithful reader, Mikey, showed me the music video that I was sold on the new album. It's a catchy song, but the music video is everything a music video should be. It's got humor, beautiful colors, a hot girl, wanton violence, an interesting story, etc. I'll post it for you below so you can enjoy it as well:



Awesome!

Plus, if you click here you can see how you can get a Weezer Snuggie along with the new CD.

Awesomer!


And, for those of you that want some additional humor, here's a random video from Russia:



The driver in the video is fine, but I'm more concerned about how bad the newswoman is injuring the English language - ZING!