We'll Serve Anyone - And To Anyone!

Faithful readers, there have been only a few times when I, myself, have been disturbed by the things I post here on Slice of Fried Gold -- including, but not limited to, SkinBags, Peter Pan, horrible writing, people stuck to toilets, anything relating to Twilight and, of course, the Neti Pot. This post is about to join those ranks.

Now, since I aim to make this blog fun for all ages, I'm going to warn you right now

WARNING: WHAT YOU'RE ABOUT TO SEE IS PRETTY DARN DISTURBING!

Ok, then.

So, alert reader, Ryan, alerted me that there was something odd going on in East London. Apparently a butcher shop had opened in the Smithfield Meat Market that was serving. . .unusual cuts of meat.

Take a look:

Yeah, I know.

But before you think East London suddenly approved Mrs. Lovett's business license, you should know that:

1. This was just a promotion for Resident Evil 6. As every geek knows, Albert Wesker is one of the main bad guys in the Resident Evil series. And Wesker & Son just has a nice ring to it.

 And

2. This is not real human meat. It's just processed to look like human body parts. The store sold meat to a few deeply disturbed individuals and then it disappeared as quickly as it arrived.

Now, I'm not saying I've never made meatloaf in the shape of an arm or hand before, but this just seems. . .beyond that. You know? You can see more pictures at neatorama.com, but do you really want to see more pictures of faux human cuts of meat?

Although, apparently proceeds from the sale of this cannibalistic cuisine went to help the Limbless Association, a support group for people who have lost limbs. So I guess that makes it less creepy, right? Right?

And the proceeds must be good, because these prime cuts cost. . .wait for it. . .an arm and a leg!

ZING!

(Oh yeah, I went there.)

This Clown Tastes Funny

I didn't exactly want to do a post about cannibalism this week -- after all, I do my best to keep this blog light and fluffy -- but the fates kept pointing me in that direction. So, faithful readers, I'm going to go ahead and take a stab at it, but let's hope I don't bite off more than I can chew. . .

I could probably have chosen better words for that.

Anyway, I watched The Walking Dead season finale this past week (zombies, an ever-present presence in my life are cannibals by nature). Then, a podcast I listen to did an episode on The Donner Party, and that, naturally, led to me doing some brief research on the Uruguayan rugby team that was stranded in the Andes. I don't know why I chose to take such a dark educational path. I must have been doing something really boring at the time, I guess.

But the anthropophagistic tipping factor was a music video by Julian Smith. We've discussed Mr. Smith on this blog before, so you may already know that I'm impressed with his comedy. "I'm Reading a Book," for example, is a family favorite and is routinely requested by my children at our dance parties.

Well, when I saw that Julian Smith had a new music video ("Eat Randy") to offer, I eagerly checked it out. After my first viewing, I was confused and slightly alarmed. I didn't quite know what to think. I liked the 80s VHS look of the video, and I thought the song was catchy, but the concept of this guy randomly singing about cannibalizing his friend was a little disturbing. However, after a few more viewings, I became slightly obsessed with the song. In fact, since it was first posted on YouTube earlier this week, I have listened to it roughly 4,815,162,342 times. Why? I'm not sure. Something about it appealed to me, and that kind of scares me.

Take a look:



Yeah, I know -- liking this song isn't going to help my reputation with my in-laws, is it? Hmmm. . .

Oh well, I'm in it this far already, so here are some final corny jokes about cannibalism!

How do you help a starving cannibal?
Give him a hand.

Two cannibals were having their dinner. One said to the other "I don’t like your friend."
"Oh?" the other one said, "Well then, just eat your vegetables."

What did the cannibal’s wife give her husband when he came home late from a night out with the guys?
The cold shoulder.

What happened when the cannibal bit off the missionary's ear? He got his first taste of Christianity!

Two cannibals were having lunch together. "Your girlfriend makes a great soup," said the first one.
"Yes, she does," agreed the first. "But I'm sure going to miss her."

I've got some messed up muses. . .or I may just need therapy.