Ho-Ho-AAAAAAAAAAAAND THEY'RE STILL SCARED OF SANTA!!!!

If you're a faithful reader of this blog (and let's face it, who isn't?), then you've come to expect the annual post where I show pictures of children who are scared of Santa and then add a silly caption. After all, I've done it for the last four years. Well, I am a slave for tradition, so here we go again.

Bring it on, Santa!

Santa was pleasantly surprised to find the youngest chimney sweep in London.

Give that Santa a cookie - he deserves it.

"Qu'est-ce. . . qui êtes-vous?"

Julian found it hard to do the YMCA when he was clinging on for dear life.

Kayla and Gavin were horrified to find that Santa had a series of notebooks on their misdoings of the past year.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaveeeeeeeee Mariiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"

Lily's attempt at camouflaging her face to match her dress was 80% complete.

"Mom! Santa just slurred my name!"

"Pssh! That's my sister, Maggie. Always making a big deal out of nothing. Typical."

Seriously?! Brenda, please don't turn around.

"Mommy! The REAL Santa would be able to wrap presents better than that!"

Zane, you're doing great. Santa, can we try it again, but with a little less leering?

No matter how fancy the border was, Lexi and Amanda would not be placated.

Britney was not a fan of the smell of bourbon.

"Save me. Leave the other one."

Merry Christmas, faithful readers. Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!

A Moment of Reflection

This week's post was originally going to be something humorous and Christmas-related, but, instead, I'd like to take a moment and acknowledge those who won't be able to celebrate Christmas with their families this year. While this blog is rarely serious, the tragic events at Sandy Hook Elementary this past weekend affected me deeply, and I wanted to do something, even if it's nothing more than a passing moment on a generally unnoticed blog, to honor their memory.

 

This image came from a website called The High Definite and it portrays the exact sentiment I wish to express -- that we should remember and honor those that died in this tragedy, while giving no publicity to the shooter. That murderer does not deserve fame. That horrible person deserves to be forgotten. 

To those that lost loved ones because of the terrible events in Newtown, Connecticut on December 14th, 2012, I express to you my heartfelt sympathies. You are in my prayers.

Slice of Fried Gold will be back next week with its regular merriment and hyperlinks.

We'll Leave the Light on For You

I'm not much of a world traveler, but I have been to 34 different states in the U.S. And in my travels I have found that 1. I get motion sickness if I read, if the car is too warm, if I eat a lot of gummy candies or if there is a strong, consistent odor (like that of gummy candies) and 2. I like staying in hotels. I even like staying in low-quality dive hotels, because I think it will make for a great story later on. Hotels are just fun.

Themed hotels are even more fun! I love staying in a room that doesn't feel like it was made for a business man on a business trip doing business things. A little room personality goes a long way for me. Here are a couple hotel rooms that I'm currently trying to convince my wife to stay in, should we ever travel to these locations.

Editor's note: She's already ruled out the the Lizzie Borden Bed and Breakfast a while back. Darn.

First of all, we have an odd hotel choice in Tasmania. Haydn Pearce, a local businessman and hotel owner is hoping to take an old, abandoned psychiatric hospital and turn it into a successful hotel -- does this sound like the beginning of a horror movie to anyone else? Anyway, Pearce is specifically looking to take the morgue of the hospital and make it into hotel rooms where guests will sleep on concrete slabs. Take a look:

Comfy? No. Morbidly interesting? Yes. Cheap? Let's hope so.

But if a morgue is a little too dark for you, turn on the lights. ZING! I'm kidding. But I understand that not everyone would be up for sleeping on a slab. I can practically feel my wife vetoing the morgue hotel already. But I honestly cannot see how she could refuse this next hotel.

The Eden Hotel in Taiwan has a room that is perfect for any dark night.

 See, honey? They have a jacuzzi! And it's only 50 bucks per 3 hours!

My thanks to, alert reader, Kent for alerting me about this amazing Batman hotel room. Now if they'd just get one of these in one of the 16 states I have yet to visit.

"Assustar" is Portuguese for "To Scare"

I'm not a hipster, therefore I am perfectly okay with posting something that has become popular. For example, I am one of the few people who still admit that they like Gangnam Style. Plus, this blog's original intent was to keep track of things that I found interesting, and this video is definitely worth saving. So if you've already seen this video, faithful readers, enjoy it once more -- if you haven't seen it, you're in for a treat. . .a Brazilian treat.

Brazilians are known for soccer, guarana, being obnoxious, samba, carnival and girls from Ipanema. However, they haven't been really well known for their practical jokes, until now. Check out this hilarious hidden camera prank they pulled on a few unsuspecting citizens.



Brilliant. Simply brilliant. Bem feito, Brasil!

Now, even though I speak Portuguese, I still can't quite figure out certain aspects of this video.

1. Where did these people think they were actually going?
2. How did they make them think the elevator was actually moving?
3. How did the girl see her way around in the dark?
4. Why did no one take a swing at the ghost? Not that I wanted them to hit an innocent little girl, but some people react in that manner when they are frightened.
5. What show was this for?

If any of you faithful readers know the answers to any of these questions, please let me know. Understanding this video will help the nightmares stop.

Leaf Me Alone!

I have two pine trees in my backyard (or "conifers," as my 5-year-old likes to call them), so I don't get the joy of raking leaves into piles every fall.

Yes, faithful readers, you heard me right. I said joy. I loved raking leaves as a kid because 1. It meant Halloween was close and 2. It meant I would soon be jumping into piles of leaves.

I remember climbing up a tree in my grandparents' yard after placing a huge pile of leaves below and jumping from the seventh-highest branch on the tree (I was a bit of a chicken). I loved feeling the leaves crunching below me as I descended into the crispy pile -- even if I always thought the inside of a leaf pile smelled like cat poo.

My grandparents' had a bunch of trees in their backyard, and I always thought that my leaf piles were huge. That is, until, I saw this video:



Impressive fellas.

But what did you do with them afterwards?

I Can Mash Potato

Now here's a twist on an old favorite. Remember a while back when I told you about the cupcake vending machine and the meat vending machine? Well, apparently there are mashed potato vending machines.

Take a look.

Mmmmm. Looks. . .vendy. . .

I will admit that I have been disappointed by unusual vending machines before. There was that vending machine that dispensed hot pizza -- I was so excited, but the pizza was way too small and it tasted just like microwaved pizza rolls. And something about this video of the machine at work just doesn't seem right.



It just seems so. . .watery and icky.

Maybe it's just because it's the Thanksgiving season, but I'd probably still try it. Mashed potatoes and gravy, after all, are almost my favorite part of the Thanksgiving meal. If I had to rank them it would be 1. Turkey (white meat followed by dark meat) 2. Mashed Potatoes and gravy 3. Rolls 4. Pie 5. Sweet Potato Souffle 6. Everything else 7. Cranberry-related items.

Anyway, back to the story at hand. Would you try it? Think how easy a vended holiday meal would be! Hit the meat vending machine, grab some potatoes for a side and then hit the cupcake vending machine on the way home. Boom! Saddest. . .Thanksgiving. . .ever. . .

Yikes. . .

Please don't vend Thanksgiving, faithful readers. If you don't have a place to eat real Thanksgiving food, just come on over to our celebration. I'm sure my mother-in-law won't mind.

LEGO My Batcave

Nerds, get your saliva glands ready. This one is drool-worthy!

So there are two things almost every boy likes when they're young: LEGOs and Batman (girls and bacon come later). Well, apparently Carlyle Livingston II and Wayne Hussey never grew up, because they combined these two childhood favorites into one. No, I'm not talking about the LEGO Batman video game, I'm talking about an amazing LEGO Batcave!

Check it out:

Not impressed enough? Ok. Let's take a closer look.

And just in case you want to know how big this thing is by comparison, here are the artists who created this masterpiece.

Carlyle and Wayne spent over 800 hours and used over 20,000 pieces on this LEGO Batcave. It even features lighting and moving parts. You can see more images and even some video on their Flickr page. Genius, fellas. Pure genius -- now get back to your wives and children; I bet they miss you.

Until next week, faithful readers! Same Bat-time! Same Bat-channel!

When You Wish Upon a Star Wars

This week the news was dominated by Hurricane Sandy. For once, weather people felt like their choice of profession was validated. News anchors warned east coast residents to be prepared for the incoming storm, and reporters braved the horrendous conditions to show first-hand the devastation. Sandy took over the radio, the television and social media. Nothing could steal Sandy's thunder (pun intended)!

That is, until Disney bought Lucasfilm for 4.05 billion dollars and they announced Star Wars: Episode VII would be coming out in 2015.

Suddenly Twitter was back to being ruled by the rage-filled nerds it was intended for. Fanboys everywhere wept with joy and terror at what might happen with their beloved franchise. There's been a lot of speculation about what might happen with the future of the Star Wars franchise. Well, faithful readers, I've got some big news -- I used my connections over at Disney and Lucasfilm and got the inside scoop on what is to be expected in Episode 7. Get this -- Since it's a Disney movie it's going to be a musical! Plus, I have an EXCLUSIVE CLIP of the upcoming sequel, sent in by, alert reader, James.

Here's your special exclusive never-before-seen super-secret clip!



I got a bad feeling about this.