Monday, April 16, 2012

Savory and Sweet Pies, As You'll See

Faithful readers, may I have your attention please? Are your nostrils aquiver and tingling as well at that delicate, luscious, ambrosial smell?

Mine, too. This post must be about delicious food.

If there has been a common theme on this blog -- aside from my undying love of zombies and underlying hatred of Twilight -- it's food. Food, and food-like substances are a driving force in my life -- and not just because I need them to survive, I love tasting delicious foods. In fact, I'd venture to say that taste is my favorite of my five senses, right after sight, hearing, smell and touch.

Nevertheless, I've never had much of a sweet tooth. Don't get me wrong, I like my desserts just as much as the next guy, but I prefer sweets as a complement to savory foods, rather than the main event. I remember as a kid the question of "If you could only eat one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be?" was thrown around quite often. And while other kids would answer such things as "ice cream" and "cake," my answer would almost always be "pizza," which is, of course, the best answer. I mean, think about it, you can change the toppings on a pizza (regular, BBQ, dessert) according to your mood, so that would give you the widest variety. Yeah, I was a pretty smart kid.

Luckily for both the sweet and savory groups, innovative minds have made it even easier to get your treats at any hour of the day.

Let's say that you have a sudden craving for a steak, but all of the butcher shops are closed. No problem, I present to you Smart Butcher, the first meat vending machine:

Impressive, no? I'll admit that I would be more impressed if it actually cooked your steak before dispensing it, so you could eat it on the drive home. I once encountered a vending machine in a hospital that dispensed freshly cooked pizza and I may have been more excited about that than I was the birth of my son. But don't worry, the pizza ended up being somewhat of a disappointment so my son ended up winning that battle for my affection.

Now, let's say after you've eaten your vending machine steak you want some dessert ("after you've eaten your vending machine steak you want some dessert"), not a problem. Sprinkles Cupcakes Beverly Hills has invented a cupcake ATM for your convenience:

Looks tasty! And it already comes pre-cooked, so you don't have to worry about the batter sloshing about on your drive home.

Now, the truth is that the Smart Butcher is only in Odenville, Alabama and Sprinkles Cupcakes Beverly Hills ATM is in. . .well. . .Beverly Hills, so in order to get this completely automated meal, you'd end up driving 1 day and 9 hours, or biking for 7 days and 17 hours or walking for 28 days and 9 hours (Google Maps is fun, isn't it?), so hopefully this technology will continue to thrive and spread.

But I must ask you, faithful readers, which vending machine you would choose if only one was to be installed in your neighborhood?

The savory?

Or the sweet?


Or cupcakes?

Or, I guess, you could just combine the two.


The Woolley's said...

Major sweet tooth here! So please don't bring that close to us!!!

The Former 786 said...

I'll see what I can do.