Monday, November 28, 2011

Gag Me With a Spoon and Leave It In There!

If you asked me what the grossest candy I've ever eaten is (though I don't know exactly why you'd be asking me that, but you have asked me some weird questions in the past), I'd probably have to say that it would be Bertie Bott's sardine-flavored jelly beans, orange sticks (seriously, orange and chocolate flavors should NOT be mixed) or anything pineapple flavored.

But let's move on beyond the superficial aspect of taste. Sometimes taste isn't enough to judge what makes a candy gross. Let's use your other senses, like your sense of sight, your sense of fashion and your sense of common decency. Because I'm pretty sure that this candy violates all of those senses and more.

That's right, faithful readers, for only $17.99, you can get a box of 12 candy scabs! Yes. Candy scabs.

Lick Your Wounds candy features a plastic bandage that sticks on your arm, with a little compartment for your assortment of sugary blood clots. Simply open the compartment, take a lick and then close it again for future consumption - so not only can you gross other people out while you lick your band-aid, but you can also grow your own bacteria in that moist little compartment and gross out your digestive system.

Not grossed out yet? Well, then here's a close-up picture of the candy, complete with arm hair.

Lick your screen for a virtual taste-test!
You're welcome.

However, I like these posts to appeal to a wide variety of audiences. I know that this will really gross out a certain demographic of my faithful readers, so I've provided an alternate low-impact version of the Lick Your Wounds candy. Here's the gentler, softer Boo Boo Licks candy

Only $9 for six boxes with twelve gummy bandages each. They make great stocking stuffers - just place them on the heel to prevent blisters.


Andrea said...

ohgoodcrap. That blistery scab is horrendous. It actually looks much worse than I imagined, and I imagined it pretty bad.

The Former 786 said...

Yeah, I have no idea why anyone thought this was a good idea!