Boil It Down

Recently I came across a site where a guy took film summaries, and condensed them into a single sentence - sometimes boiling a movie down to this point makes you see it differently.

Here are a few of my favorites:
WARNING: There may be some spoiler-type-things!

• ALIEN: Ship fails to deliver cargo, crew don’t get bonus.
• ALIENS: An unplanned pregnancy leads to complications.
• AMADEUS: Man with health problems receives help from rival.
• AN AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON: Tourist causes riot.
• BATMAN: Wealthy man assaults the mentally ill.
• BEAUTY AND THE BEAST: Peasant girl develops Stockholm Syndrome.
• BENJI: Family abandons beloved pet, forcing it to engage in a dangerous cross-country journey.
• BREWSTER’S MILLIONS: Black man abuses line of credit.
• BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER: Teenage serial killer destroys town in fit of semi-religious fervor.
• CHRISTMAS VACATION: Incestuous relatives teach family the meaning of Christmas.
• CUJO: Family neglects to give family pet rabies shots, pays price.
• DELIVERANCE: Tourists experience local hospitality.
• DEMOLITION MAN: In a future where crime is completely eradicated, a black man steals and murders.
• DIE HARD: Dysfunctional cop saves marriage by murdering foreign national.
• DRACULA: Immigrant clashes with locals.
• E.T.: Out-of-control pet causes mayhem, sadness.
• FERRIS BUELLER’S DAY OFF: Amoral narcissist makes world dance for his amusement.
• FIELD OF DREAMS: Schizophrenic builds ball park, almost kills girl.
• GHOSTBUSTERS: Unemployed college professors destroy hotel with nuclear weapons.
• GLADIATOR: Convict murders head of state.
• GREMLINS: Distant father ruins son’s life, puts entire town at risk.
• GROUNDHOG DAY: Misanthropic creep exploits space/time anomaly to stalk coworker.
• HARRY POTTER: Celebrity Jock thinks rules don’t apply to him, is right.
• HIGHLANDER: Elderly immigrant destroys property.
• IRON MAN: Alcoholic rich white man with technology fetish goes vigilante.
• JURASSIC PARK: Theme park’s grand opening pushed back.
• KARATE KID: Boy gains acceptance through violence.
• KINDERGARTEN COP: Incompetent left in charge of children, who are eventually fired at by convicted felon.
• KING KONG: Endangered animal stolen, shot.
• LABYRINTH: Girl is negligent baby-sitter.
• LORD OF THE RINGS: Midget destroys stolen property.
• LOVE ACTUALLY: Prime Minister risks war with United States over a sexy secretary.
• METROPOLIS: Efficient society undone by unions.
• MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL: British comedy troupe inadvertently creates language lab for nerds.
• O BROTHER WHERE ART THOU: Southern musicians encounter massive flooding and government incompetence.
• OCEAN’S ELEVEN: Gang of career criminals commit act of terror to facilitate robbery and romance.
• PREDATOR: American military-industrial complex ruins first contact with alien life.
• RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK: American yahoo murders soldiers and desecrates religious artifacts for money.
• RAISING ARIZONA: Convicted felon seduces police officer in kidnapping plot.
• RATATOUILLE: Vermin infest restaurant until it is forced to close doors.
• ROBIN HOOD: Disgruntled veteran protests taxes.
• SERENITY: Men fight for possession of scantily clad mentally ill teenage girl.
• SHORT CIRCUIT: Rogue scientist steals top-secret government weapon.
• SPIDER-MAN: Nerd gets bitten by spider, complains about how this ruins his life for years to come.
• STAR WARS: A NEW HOPE: Religious extremist terrorists destroy government installation, killing thousands.
• STAR WARS: EMPIRE STRIKES BACK: Boy is abused by midget, kisses sister, attempts patricide.
• STAR WARS: RETURN OF THE JEDI: Handicapped mass murderer kills septugenarian, is lauded.
• SUPERMAN RETURNS: Illegal immigrant is deadbeat dad.
• SWEENEY TODD: Businesses flourish when freed from stringent regulation.
• TERMINATOR: An unplanned pregnancy leads to complications.
• THE CAT FROM OUTER SPACE: College professors help illegal alien evade authorities.
• THE MATRIX: Hacker is given perfect justification for mass slaughter.
• THE NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS: Dangerous insurgent invades neighboring country.
• THE X-MEN: Minority group seeks overthrow of social order.
• TOP GUN: Pilot routinely endangers Air Traffic Controllers.
• TWILIGHT: Girl gives up college for stalker.
• WALL-E: Obsolete robot disrupts big business, disrupts lives of millions of innocent civilians.
• WAR OF THE WORLDS: Immigrants face difficulty acclimating.
• WEEKEND AT BERNIES: Two employees take advantage of their boss’ hospitality.
• WONDER WOMAN: Princess from isolationist culture lectures Americans on equality.

Skewed points of view? Maybe. A little cynical? Probably. But it made me laugh. Can you boil your favorite movies down to one sentence?