Monday, December 26, 2011


If you're a faithful reader of this blog - and, let's face it, who isn't? - then you know that each Christmas season for the past few years, I've dedicated a post to Santa Claus and frightened children. Well, I've decided to make it a tradition, so here we go once again.

"Hello, ladies. Look at your Santa, now back to me, now back at your Santa, now back to me."

Madison was not a fan of the movie Fred Claus, and she felt this Santa looked a little TOO much like Paul Giamatti.

Sydney's instincts were right - if the hair doesn't match the beard, it's a fake Santa.

Wyatt was terrified, but his mom was really enjoying the massage from Jolly Old St. Nicholas.


Luckily for Jennifer, she knew about the secret escape chute.


"Whoa! I did NOT sign up for this!"

When Maureen heard Santa say "Now dash away!" she took it literally.

Santa was caught off guard by a sudden warm sensation on his knee.

"Ew! No! Why???"

"Did you see the chompers on this guy, Ma?"

Even Nikki's signature scissor kick was useless against the man in the red suit.

"Ew! He's touching the floor, mom! That means he has germs. Germs, mom! GERMS!"

Santa attempts to quiet the Baker Brothers by bashing their heads together.

Wine & Cheese

When his sister pulled down Santa's beard, DJ knew he'd been taken for a fool.

"Moooooooooom! He smells like reindeer breath!"

Fear - now in 3D!!!

Charlotte knew that the only defense against Santa Claus was a good zombie impersonation.

Asha and Reeyen were not pleased with the American tradition of forcing children to sit on a sweaty man's lap.

"Weeeeeeeeeee! Best roller coaster EVEEEEEER!"

"Find a happy place! I'm in ballet class! That's right, I'm a pretty ballerina in ballet class and not here! Not here!"

That'll teach him.

"Kris Kringle stole my hands!!"

"Say, mista, cantcha help a fella out? I'm dyin' hea, mista!"

"Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawn. Morning, Mom. Where are we?"

"Ewww, Dad. He has poo on his lap!"

It's a drive-by frightening.

Margaret was just having a bad hair day and didn't appreciate being photographed.

I call this one "The Kinetic Motion of Fear."


It was bound to happen at some point.

May your days be merry and bright, and may all your Christmases be white!

Monday, December 19, 2011

Walking in a Miniatur Wunderland

Faithful readers, are you listening?
In this tiny town, LEDs are glistenin'
From, alert reader, Dustin - a post worth discussin'
Here is Hamburg's Miniatur Wunderland!

Caution: This video is rated PG, for brief doll nudity, suggestive van rocking and pervasive German accents.

Monday, December 12, 2011

Make Sure You Get That Copyright Copy Right, Disney

As many of you faithful readers know, here on Slice of Fried Gold we aim to entertain, but we also try to educate every now and then. Today's lesson is a little (lot) of both. Here is a short (10 minute) lesson on copyright laws and fair use, but done in a way that is sure to keep your attention:

Eh? Learned something, didn't you?

We've discussed Disney on this blog before, but I felt that this was an important lesson to learn in this era of YouTube videos and picture-based memes. My thanks to Professor Eric Faden of Bucknell University for making this video and a special thanks to, alert reader, Bethany for sending it in!

Monday, December 5, 2011

If You Gotta Go, Go With A Smile

Faithful readers, do you remember the first time you went on a big roller coaster? I do. It was a moment that was seared into my little kid brain. My dad made me go on one called Colossus the Fire Dragon. I thought I could handle it, but as the coaster started up the initial hill and climbed higher and higher, I freaked out. I started pleading with my dad, asking him to tell the ride operator to stop the coaster - only to realize that my father had no power over the motorized chain pulling us along the track, nor did he have power over the steep drop after the hill, the two 65-foot High-G inversions and two helix turns. I was doomed. I thought I was going to die.

But I didn't die.

Believe it or not, roller coasters are very safe. They're designed to stay on the tracks and keep us securely in our seats. Roller coasters are not designed to kill us. . .except for this one:

Wow. What a way to go.