Monday, December 28, 2009


I did a post like this last year, and I had a lot of fun doing it, so I decided to give it another go.

Here are some MORE pictures of children who don't seem to be quite grasping the holiday spirit:

Allison was suddenly suspicious of the cookie she was given.

"Imposter! Imposter! The mustache doesn't match! Alert the authorities!!"

Aubrey is doing her best to stay brave, despite Santa's Breath.

"I see a tunnel! With a very bright light at the end! Take me! Take me now!"

Carson found his best defense was to camouflage himself as Santa's outfit.

If you watch closely, you can actually see Charlotte and Grayson shaking.

Cole isn't scared of Santa, he's just disgusted with how commercial Christmas has become.

"Mommy? What's wrong with Santa? He seems sad and he's slurring his words."

If you've ever wanted to witness the face of terror, this is it.

Looks like it's a lump of coal for each and every one of the Fulton kids this year.

"Ewww, Mom! He smells like Egg Nog, moth balls and B.O.!"

This is the moment when Isabella learned that her head didn't detach from her body - as she had previously hoped.


Santa seems to be reading the label on Jordan's back to see where she was made so he can send her back.

Kathryn and Ellie are crying for their parents, but no one will answer. . . no one will answer.


Kenna let a long, sorrowful moan of despair escape her lips, oblivious to the gleeful indifference of her dumb brother.

Santa's shushing could not quell the fear of Lazarus.

Even with a mom buffer, Lily knew very well WHOSE lap she was sitting on!

"Je suis si plein de la crainte! Je suis ainsi effrayƩ! Est-ce que personne ne peuvent m'aider? Je suis malheureux! Svp, j'ai besoin de l'aide!"

"I'm a tree! I'm a tree! And trees don't have to sit on Santa's lap!!"

Side-saddle Santa doesn't want you to let the kids know that he is behind them - just in case.

Will is going for the standard crying, while Olivia is trying the "if I can't see him, he's not there" method.

Santa breaths a sigh of relief that Owen is taking most of his aggression out on his own father.

Phoenix is shocked and horrified at the price list for Santa photos he's looking at.

Rocco tried to be tough, but the tears just wouldn't stop.

No where in any of his books or movies had Roman seen Santa surfing - this was not right.

"What is the matter, Sanjiv? Do you not know that this is the man who brings us candy and toys? Stop your crying, brother, or you'll ruin it for the both of us!"

Santa seems genuinely hurt that Lainey didn't like him.

"Here's the deal, kid. You look down, I'll look up, and we'll both pretend you're not here peeing on my lap."

Tony wasn't fooled, he knew this was going to be a horrible picture from the get-go.

The Three Stages of Fear: Nervous Smile, Shifty Eyes, and Open Weeping.

No, this kid isn't crying, he's just trying to hit that high note on "O Holy Night."

Hey, if you're a Santa without a mustache, it's no surprise you're going to upset the kids.


So there you go. If you want, you can go to the site where these photos came from and browse through hundreds of Scared of Santa pictures and create your own captions. Fun stuff.

Also, as an added bonus, here are two more pictures of my own daughter's experience with Santa:

We thought Kaylee would be ok with Santa, especially considering all the preparations I'd done with her. . .

. . .we were wrong.

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!

Monday, December 21, 2009

Is It Getting Geeky in Here?

Or is it just me?

Today's post is going to have a Star Wars theme. "What???" you're obviously shouting right now, "But, The Former 786, it's Christmas time! Why do you hate Christmas???" Trust me, I don't. Second to Halloween, it's my favorite holiday. And Christmas is followed by the 4th of July, New Year's Eve/Day, St. Patrick's Day, Thanksgiving, Easter, St. Valentine's Day, Groundhog Day, Mother's Day, Veteran's Day, Martin Luther King Day, Father's Day, Washington's Birthday, Arbor Day, Labor Day and Flag Day - IN THAT ORDER!

But I digress.

The reason I chose to do this Star Wars post the week before Christmas is because one of these things is something I really, really want for Christmas (are you reading this, wife of mine?)! But let's start at the very beginning, because it's a very good place to start.

This first part was brought to my attention by, alert reader, Zufelt. It comes from the mind of a guy named Brian Murphy, and it asks the question, "what if Star Wars characters had Facebook accounts?"

And here are a few examples:

So there you go. It made me laugh.

This next part is the Christmas gift that I think anyone could enjoy - and yes, it also has to do with Star Wars.

From the mind of Kayla Kromer, maker of the hamburger bed, comes this beautiful, beautiful bedroom furniture.


This comfortable-looking bed was obviously made by someone who had an attention to detail.

"But how do you sleep on it?" you ask.

The top opens up.

And you just snuggle right in - Genius!

Oh, and as an added bonus. . .it has headlights.

Wow. Just. . .just wow.

If you want to know more about the bed, you can click here and read about it on the official Star Wars blog. If you want to know more about Kayla and her creations, you can click here and become her fan on Facebook.

Star Wars.

Monday, December 14, 2009

LOL New Moon K Thx Bye

See this?

This is a dead horse. And I'm about to beat it senseless.

I don't like Twilight. Almost as much as I DO like zombies.

You know that when your plot can be summarized by a few Lolcats in Lolspeak, it's not the greatest story in the world. Well, a blogger named "B." took Stephenie Meyer's second book, and turned it into what it truly is - a bunch of gibberish.

For those of you who aren't "in the know," an Lolcat is a picture of a cat with a funny caption. These captions are usually written in Lolspeak, or the way that we all imagine cats (and other animals) talk/type. Cats, as we know, have horrible grammar skills. You can find plenty of examples of Lolcats and Lolspeak at - just in case you want to prepare for what is to come - Lolspeak can take some getting used to.

Anyway, I've ado-ed enough - here is the beginning of New Moon LOL-style, and you can find the rest of the story on B's blog by clicking here.

So there you go. That's pretty much two-thirds of the book right there. But you can get the rest of the Lolstory by clicking here and going to the Pop Suede blog.

K Thx Bye!