Monday, May 28, 2012

And I'm Proud to Be An American

Memorial Day is a time where we take a moment to remember those brave men and women who have fought for our freedom, visit a graveyard or two and have a BBQ. This holiday is an American original and I can't help but feel patriotic whenever it comes around.

So, if you don't mind, I'd like to take a more serious tone on this entry and post a few historically accurate portrayals of our American forefathers:

You're probably rolling your eyes and saying "this isn't historically accurate," but, believe it or not, The Gettysburg Address actually took place in mid-November, 1863, so it probably was snowing that day.

Not many people know this, but President Franklin D. Roosevelt's bio armor was the inspiration for the SCV units in Starcraft.

Abraham Lincoln may have been a vampire hunter, but our first president was a zombie killer, and a darn good one, too.

There is much controversy surrounding the ride of Paul Revere, in particular that he may have been riding his light cycle while intoxicated.

And, of course, Teddy Roosevelt battling Bigfoot.

There. Don't you feel a little more patriotic AND a little more awesome now? I thought so. This series, sent in by, alert reader, Mitch was created by Jason Heuser. Be sure to check out the entire Epic Art Store gallery, including many more completely historically accurate artistic depictions of the people who shaped this country.

Take THAT, Canada!

Monday, May 21, 2012

It's A-Me, Mario!

If you could be a character in a video game, who would you be?

I remember when I used to play the bonus level on Sonic the Hedgehog 2, I imagined that it was me racing along that half-pipe grabbing rings. I also cannot confirm nor deny that I may have, on occasion ran in place in front of the TV during the game. Sure, it would be a little weird to be covered in blue fur and yes, I might feel a little embarrassed wearing only shoes and socks, but, hey, it beats getting my spine ripped out by Sub-Zero.

Anyway, I'm betting that a lot of you faithful readers out there would choose Mario Kart. I mean, who wouldn't love driving a little race car around a track and shoot turtle shells at each other? And the best part is, if you crash, the worst thing that would happen would be that you get a little dizzy and then a little turtle on a cloud (Lakitu) will pick you up and put you back on the right track.

But that's just a video game, right? Those kind of cars don't exist in real life, right? I should just stop asking you questions and show you this video, right?

And this Mario car was actually given to a contest winner a little while later. It's like a dream come true.

But, then again, that's just the car. The video game nerd in me wondered what it would be like to actually play Mario Kart in real life. Well, I think it would look a little something like this:

But, let's face it, this kind of racing can only exist on the TV for me. You may be able to pull it off, but I've gotten sick every time I've done go kart racing. If only Lakitu could pick me up and make me not feel dizzy.

Monday, May 14, 2012

In the Not Too Distant Future?

Now that Mother's Day is over, I think it's time we all started looking forward to the next important holiday: Father's Day.

I already know what I want:

Now I just need to convince my wife.

My thanks to, alert reader, Ryan for sending this in.

Monday, May 7, 2012

I Am So Happy, I Do the Dance of Joy!

Do you remember Perfect Strangers? I sure do. There were many great sitcoms in the 80s, and even more great theme songs from those TV shows. Who can forget the great intros to shows such as Mr. Belvedere, Cheers, Charles in Charge, The Greatest American Hero and The Dukes of Hazzard?

Sidenote: I challenge you to sing the theme to Full House out loud right now. It's ok, no one is listening. Ok. Are you doing it? Good. Now, hurry and sing the theme song to Family Matters! It's not easy, is it? TV shows back then knew how to do theme songs.

Not that I'm bashing on the theme songs of today (I mean, I think we all like to sing along to Lost's intro), but they don't seem to have the same sort of magic they used to. TV theme songs used to have a life of their own back in the 80s. I actually own many of these old TV show themes on my iPod and one of the most toe-tapping, heart-warming numbers on there is the theme song to Perfect Strangers.

For those of you who don't remember Perfect Strangers, SHAME ON YOU! You should stop reading this post immediately and order the series on Amazon. I'll wait. . . .

Ok, then.

So this past week imagine the pure joy I felt when I found out that Jason Oda, a game designer from Brooklyn, New York had created a simple, yet amazing video game based on the timeless sitcom about a city-bred man who is forced to live and interact with his backwards, Eastern European cousin.

And, best of all, this little game has the ability to make your dreams come true!

Don't believe me? Give it a shot yourself and try not to feel the positive energy flowing through you.

There, don't you feel like doing the dance of joy yourself now? You don't? Don't be ridiculous. Of course you wish to do the dance of joy! It's hard not to feel good with all those positive messages, references to the show, rainbows, balloons and flying.

Oh, and in case you're wondering, yes, I have played this game a lot. And yes, I have gotten 100%, therefore my dream is going to come true any day now.

Nothing's gonna stop me now.