Monday, May 30, 2011

People Are (Disturbing) People

If you haven't seen the website "People of WalMart" yet, you've been missing out. . .or maybe you haven't. Some of the images you're about to see may never leave your head. It's hard to believe that there are people dressed like this in our fashion-conscious world -- that is, until you actually go to your local WalMart and see it for yourself.

However, for those of us who are quite busy and don't have the time to go traipsing around a website for hours on end, there's a little number by Jessica Frech. This creative young lady took the images from People of WalMart and condensed them into one hilarious video -- sent to me by, alert reader, Bethany. Take a look, but, before you do, I feel like I should give the following disclaimer:


*clears throat* 

You have been warned. Proceed at your own risk.

I told you so.

So, which one disturbed you the most?

Was it big hair, dreadlocks, little skirt, red box, hot dog, puppeteer, smiley shorts, swipe right here, Tom Hanks, pet goat, belt buckle, Joseph's coat, jelly fish, call girl, prison mate, gonna hurl, skin cap, vanilla chip, pony tail, pirate ship, no shirt, no shoes, oops I took a poop, Spider-Man, back boobs, bumble bee, bad tubes, Metal creep, hipster creep, Little Bo Peep lost her sheep, Jamie Fox, Santa Claus, Woodstock, butt floss, man dress, Mother Goose, mullet time, car got loose, scary fruit, day care, Twilight, Kentucky hair, campout, fishing line, Golden Girls, too much wine, pedicure, race fan, horse mane, ladies' man, where's my shirt, where's my nurse, Masters of The Universe, Baywatch, rubber band, moonshine, wonderland, Bozo, hang low, Rocky Picture Horror Show, man purse, milk shake, skid row, beer break, uni tard, Lean Cuisine, fire sale, 80’s dream, Bieber's dad, camo crack, body flag, biscuit back, tramp stamp, checkout line, Civil War, danger sign, bathing suit, Grateful Dead, booty bomb, wide spread, long hair, health care, Victoria Secret's worst nightmare, Daniel Boone, pucker pup, Dr. Scholl's, grow up, half sale, rib sale, tailgater total fail, Mr. T, Flava Flav, not sure, white slave, workout, rump roast, Sailor Moon, hairy ghost, cupcake, caveman, beer run, soda fan, ripped pants, onesie, lion boy, Snuggie, meat isle, Huck Finn, beauty-fail, too much skin, gonna cry, gonna die, gonna jungle bunny ride, moth attack, board game, hangin’ out, no shame’ squeeze play, NRA or the I have no more to say one?

Vote now!

Author's note: I need to go wash my eyes out with bleach now. I had to study that blasted video for this post.

Monday, May 23, 2011

A Bit of a Tearjerker

I'll admit that I'm a bit of a softie. When watching a movie, a TV show or even a well-made commercial, I sometimes get caught up in the moment and find myself getting a little misty-eyed. There are certain moments in film that make me cry every time I see them. I don't know exactly what it is - maybe it's the swelling music, or the emotional performance, or the beauty of the cinematography. . .I don't know, but I know it when I see it, and I've just seen it again.

Now, I won't say much about this montage before I show it. I simply want you to enjoy it with pure eyes and an open heart. Enjoy:

*sniff* I know, right? *sniff* It's simply breathtaking.

*wipes eyes*

So, faithful readers, were your favorite movie sandwiches featured in this moving cinematic piece? Or are you outraged because your favorite was snubbed? I'll admit I was a little bugged because they didn't show the impromptu scrambled egg sandwich made by Harrison Ford in The Fugitive, but I'll let it slide for now. . .just because I'm so caught up in the beauty of the moment.


Monday, May 16, 2011

Get a Grip, Parry!

During these many years of Slice of Fried Gold I've introduced you to a number of musical numbers. Some of which were catchy and fun, and others that make you want to claw your eyes out. Although, for the record, if you're listening to an annoying song, it may be more effective to just plug your ears - now you know.

Anyway, I would like to add another song to the official Slice of Fried Gold playlist today. This one was brought to my attention by, alert reader, Simon. And, as a disclaimer, I have to let you know that it is both catchy and adorable. You have been warned!

Told you so.

For me, this song is going to go right up there with Hamster on a Piano or John Cage's 4'33" - you know, songs you can't help but sing along with. Parry Gripp, the songwriter of "Baby Monkey (Going Backwards On A Pig)," actually does a new song every week on his site, and his YouTube channel is full of awesome little ditties. Plus, he's the lead singer of the band Nerf Herder, who did the theme song for Buffy the Vampire Slayer so he's already a winner in my book.

So there you go. What did you think of "Baby Monkey (Going Backwards On A Pig)?" Is this going to make it to your iPod? Or will you do your best to scrub this song out of your head after reading this post?

Or are you unable to read this part of the post because you clawed your eyes out during the song? I told you it wasn't very effective.

Monday, May 9, 2011

Whittlin' the Time Away

Ok, this video is seriously impressive, but, seriously, WHO HAS THIS KIND OF TIME?

What is Scott Weaver doing to earn an actual living that would allow him to spend so much time on something so. . .awesomely random?

I don't even have time for a decent post this week!

Until next week, faithful readers!

Monday, May 2, 2011

Zombies! Zombies! Zombies!

As we all know, good things tend to come in threes. There's the three wise men, the Three Amigos, the three-course meal and the Toy Story films. So today I'd like to present you with three different slices of fried gold with one common theme (hint: the theme is zombies). After all, who doesn't love zombies?

Firstly, I'd like to show you this cartoon, sent in by, alert reader, Tori Morten.

I can't tell you how long I chuckled about this one. It's such a genius connection! I wish I would have thought of it. It's interesting to think of the loveable bag of hay from The Wizard of Oz as an inspiration for George A. Romero, the creator of the modern zombie. I bet it was. I mean, Romero was born in 1940, exactly 5 months and 10 days after The Wizard of Oz was released in theaters - that can't be a coincidence!

Next up, I present to you this house, sent in by, alert reader, Lecia.


So what's so special about this house, you may ask? Well, this innovative design is perfect for a world like ours, a world on the verge of a zombie apocalypse. Inspired by Michael Bay's horrible movies, this house actually transforms into a zombie-proof stronghold. Watch and behold!

Boom! Just like that, you have no weaknesses in your fortress of solitude. No windows for peering zombie eyes, no doors for zombie hands to crush, no overlooked, unused coal shafts for zombies to sneak into. It's a solid stone block. The only way you can get into this place after it has transformed is by a drawbridge lowered from the second story, shown below.

And did I mention that this house is also located behind a giant, retracting stone wall? 'Cause it is.

It's called "The Safe House" and it was designed by KWK Promes and it is located in Warsaw, Poland - proving once and for all that Americans aren't the only people paranoid about a zombie apocalypse.You can see more pictures of The Safe House, including the indoor pool, the lurking guard cat and the floor plans, at

However, truth be told, the real threat in a zombie movie is hardly ever from the actual zombies trying to get in. It's almost always because of dissension in the group of humans that the zombies are able to gain some ground on the battlefront. Heck, in some movies the humans are the ones with the higher body count. Moral of the story: Don't trust people.

Which segues perfectly into the final segment of this zombie-rific post. This video, sent in by, faithful reader, Jaime, shows just how cruel humans can really be to each other.

I don't know whether to call child protective services or post this on my blog and have others laugh at it. Wait. . .I think I already made my decision on that. . . .oh well. Anyway, this Japanese prank show displays just how uninformed children are about zombie attacks. I mean, seriously, Tabasco sauce? Plastic wrap? What were they THINKING?

I blame their parents. Any good parent should have their children prepared for the inevitable zombie apocalypse. For example, my kids know exactly where my cricket bat and flamethrower are in case of an attack. And, as an added bonus, they also know what plants we can put in the front yard in order to prevent zombies from getting in our house. After all, you can't be too careful.

Until next week, faithful readers!