Monday, April 19, 2010

Fill My Eyes with that Double Vision

While this may not seem like much of an accomplishment to you, I, personally, am quite surprised at this. Since the last time we talked, I have stared death in the face and threw caution to the wind. Yes. . .I ate the new KFC Double Down sandwich.

For those of you not "in the know" the Double Down is, essentially a sandwich without bread. They've taken bacon, cheese and a special sauce and slapped it between two pieces of fried (or grilled) chicken.

This is what it looks like in the ads:

And this is what it looks like in reality:
Amazing what a little makeup will do, eh?

So, just to give you the facts, this "sandwich" costs $4.99, plus tax. They don't serve it in the UK. The original recipe (fried) version offers 540 calories and has 32 grams of fat and 1380 milligrams of sodium. The grilled version is only 460 calories with 23 grams of fat, but it packs 1430 milligrams of sodium into this little package. What does this all mean? I don't know. I've never really been a calorie counter. But I did figure out during my research that eating burns 85 calories per hour, so if you slow down and take six hours to eat your Double Down, you actually have worked off the calories you took in - right?

Now, I was fortunate enough to have a wonderful, lovely, intelligent, generous, hard-working and awesome coworker buy one for me to try, so I got to test it out for free. Since free food normally tastes better than regular food, my opinion may be a little biased, but I'll attempt to be subjective in my review. And here it is:

Imagine you're in a restaurant and you order the chicken cordon bleu. Your order comes out beautifully arranged on a plate with side dishes and garnishes. Then you toss your knife and fork aside and proceed to pick up the chicken with your bare hands and eat it. That's what the Double Down is like. It just tastes like you're eating a main dish with your hands. It tastes fine. It tastes good, in fact, but it doesn't really taste as special as I had hoped. Also, as expected, it was a little smaller than it looked on TV. Plus, I did feel a little iffy afterward - I think all the sodium got to me.

So should you, my faithful readers, try it? Well, that's up to you. I thought it tasted good, and it was definitely fun to try, but I don't know if I would pay money to buy another one. I'd rather spend my chicken budget on Alice Springs Chicken from Outback Steakhouse. But, if my wonderful, lovely, intelligent, generous, hard-working and awesome coworker wanted to buy another one for me, I wouldn't turn my nose up at it (Hint! Hint!).

Now, since this entry is all about doubles, let's move on to the next topic - sleeping. After eating a sandwich like that, I wanted to take a nap. And what better place to take a nap than this beautiful, bright orange sofa!
"But, The Former 786," you say, "I also would like to take a nap and there isn't enough space for two on that beautiful, bright orange couch!" Not a problem, faithful reader!

*cue Transformer sound effect*

That's right, this sofa TRANSFORMS INTO A BUNK BED!

The Doc Sofa/Bed was brought to my attention by, alert reader, Zufelt. I did some quick research online and found out that it is sold by a company called Bonbon Trading. Now, before you get too excited about this bed, know that 1. This furniture comes from England, and 2. This sofa/bunk bed costs $6800! That's more than I make in a week!

However, if you're still interested, I should inform you that the Doc sofa/bed does come in other colors and there is an "extra large" version that costs closer to $9000.

If you're STILL willing to buy one. . .well, then you have too much money and should think of donating that money to your favorite blog about random stories/videos/products. . . that has the word "Slice" in the title. . . and is authored by someone with a number in their name. . .

I accept cash and two-party checks - or you can just pay me off in Double Downs. Although, at five bucks and 540 calories a pop, I probably wouldn't live past 1/3 of the full payment.

Oh well, what a way to go!


The Woolley's said...

That is a pretty sweet couch. It better be super duper muy comfortable to cost that much. Cuz holy crap, I can't imagine it being worth that!

--jeff * said...

in response to the double down, the ad made it look like a heart attack, while seeing it in actual size made it look like a rip off.

speaking of kfc menu creations, i'm reminded of the "kfc bowl", brought to my attention by patton oswald. "it's essentially the entire left side of the menu scooped into a bowl," he said. "it's what frankenstein would eat."
i enjoyed it.

but yes, there was a lot of sodium.

Felicia & Brandon said...

I contend that the Double Down isn't really smaller than the commercials make it seem (this coming from someone who hasn't seen the KFC commercial), but your hands are so large that they make the sandwich look small in comparison.

Maren McCaleb said...

I also thought that it was your giant hands that made the sandwich look so small. But I don't think you have giant hands in real life. That I've noticed.

If anyone is still on the Atkins diet, this would be perfect for them. What? All those people are dead? Oh. Never mind.

The Former 786 said...


Waffles & Steel said...

I understand that Kentucky Fried Chicken rebranded itself "KFC" partly because it was afraid "Fried" would scare off many potential customers in our increasingly health conscious world. Is the "Double Down" a sign that this was a silly move?

The Former 786 said...

I wouldn't say "Silly," I'd just say it shows they really don't care for the health and well-being of their customers.

Fried is fried.