Horror Movies So Bad, They're Good

I've said it before and I'll say it again, the worst movies in the world are comedies. It's hard to laugh at someone who thinks they're being funny and failing. On the other hand, a bad horror movie makes an excellent comedy. If a scary movie fails to be scary, it can still be hilarious. So here is a list of horror movies so bad, they're good. Now, faithful readers, this list doesn't include many of the horrible movies featured in Mystery Science Theater 3000, such as Werewolf, Pod People and Manos: The Hands of Fate. These are movies that are enjoyable without aids such as MST3K. I like Manos just as much as the next guy, but without the aid of Joel and the Bots, it's almost unbearable. So, without further ado, here is a list of some awful...ly good horror films.

Troll 2
No list of bad movies would be complete without this stinker. Troll 2 not only has nothing to do with the original Troll movie, but it also doesn't have any trolls in it. This one actually has some decent special effects -- I'm referring to the two tree transformations in the film here -- but it suffers from terrible writing and even worse acting. It's no surprise that no one in this film went on to bigger and better things. But it is amazingly fun to see the actors stumble through this mess. Oddly enough, the director still believes this is a masterpiece. Here's a clip, faithful readers, so you can decide for yourself:

Proof of Awfulness/Awesomeness:



Birdemic
Sound editing is one of those things we take for granted in film. We assume that we're going to be able to hear the actors, we assume the soundtrack will enhance the mood instead of detracting from it, and we assume the sound effects will fit what is going on. The horrible editing in Birdemic sticks out like a sore thumb. I'm pretty sure they placed the microphones on the actors' shoes in some scenes.  And yes, the acting is as terrible as the special effects. But I couldn't stop laughing at how awful this movie really is, and I've gone out of my way to show friends and family just how bad this movie is. Somewhere, Alfred Hitchcock is rolling in his grave.

Proof of Awfulness/Awesomeness:



Maximum Overdrive
Now, to be fair, Maximum Overdrive scared me as a kid. But once I grew up I realized how ridiculous the idea of trucks, arcade games, bridges and soda machines rising up against us is. The acting is alright, the special effects are decent, but it's the concept that is flawed, and it's the concept that makes this movie a campy classic. Try not to laugh when the electric turkey carver attacks a woman. She yells and screams like Freddy Krueger himself is coming after her, yet all she has to do is take two steps backwards and she'll be fine. Plus, Emilio Estevez is a great coach and even a pretty good outlaw, but he's not a a tough guy and this movie kind of proves that.

Proof of Awfulness/Awesomeness:



Darkness Falls
Of all the movies on this list, Darkness Falls probably has the best production quality and the opening sequence is actually quite terrifying. But the reason this movie makes the list is because of how far it fell after that. It hits on almost every movie cliché in the book (Note: It's actually based on a sub-par short film, not a book) and it quickly delves into the completely ridiculous. My brothers and I had a great time ripping this one apart and by the time it got to the end my stomach hurt from laughing so hard. To this day, the phrase "Stay in the light!" always gets a chuckle in my house. Also, please keep in mind, this movie is about the Tooth Fairy. . .as a killer. . .

Proof of Awfulness/Awesomeness:



They Live
I stumbled across They Live on accident late one night. I tried to my best to figure out what this movie was trying to be. I finally decided that it's trying to be a horror movie, but you shouldn't hire a professional wrestler as your leading man if you're trying to scare people - unless you're trying to frighten them with horrible line reading. If you're going to have "Rowdy" Roddy Piper in your movie, you should just stick to extended, obviously staged fight scenes. . . oh wait, they did that, too. Believe it or not, They Live was written and directed by John Carpenter, who has proved himself as a horror writer, but this movie proves that your choice of actors can have a negative (but hilarious) effect on an already weak storyline. I think that's why they gave Mr. Piper so few lines.

Proof of Awfulness/Awesomeness:



Plan 9 From Outer Space
If Ed Wood's art is making bad movies, Plan 9 from Outer Space is his Sistine Chapel. This movie is so terrible it's sublime. The writing, the acting, the special effects, the editing - everything in this movie misses the mark. It would be hard to intentionally make a film this entertainingly bad. Also, there have been a number of directors who have had an actor die during the filming of a movie, but not many directors have chosen to add in random footage of a recently deceased actor into a movie they weren't in before. And since Ed Wood only had a few shots of the late Bela Lugosi, he had to fill in the rest with his wife's chiropractor, even though he doesn't look anything like Lugosi. That's ok, though, he covers his face for all of his scenes. If you haven't seen this movie yet, you're doing yourself a disservice. Rent it. Watch it. Cringe and enjoy.

Proof of Awfulness/Awesomeness:



So there you go. Six completely awful horror movies that I still recommend seeing.

Happy Halloween, faithful readers!