Monday, July 8, 2013

Maybe She's Born With It

Believe it or not, faithful readers, some of my faithful readers are women. And I want to dedicate this post to all of my female readers out there.

Ladies, I feel your pain. I know how annoying unwanted advances can be -- after all, I was a security officer for five years, and I can't tell you how many women tried to hit on me while I was a man in uniform. And it's just not easy or pleasant to let someone know you're not interested in them when they're obviously interested in you, am I right? Don't you wish there was a way to deter someone from hitting on you when you don't want to be hit on?

Well now there is! Check it out:

Yikes! I probably should have put a warning before that picture, shouldn't have I? No, those are not the legs of the average testosterone-filled male. And no, those are not the legs of a testosterone-filled female, either. Yes, they are female legs, but the hairiness is caused by manufactured leggings, not hormones. This hosiery has hair (it's unclear whether it's real or artificial) woven into the fabric to create the appearance of extreme unshavenness.

These shaggy stockings are all the rage in China, where apparently smooth operators are thwarted by unsmooth limbs. It seems that it would be much easier (not to mention cheaper) to just go without shaving, but perhaps your leg whiskers don't grow in full enough, and you're still turning men's heads instead of their stomachs.

I'm sorry to say that these nylons aren't widely distributed yet, so until they are, we'll just have to dream (or have nightmares) about independent women flaunting these leggings around.

My "thanks" to alert reader, Rob, for sending this in.

1 comment:

Bethany said...

That picture is horrible! Please excuse me while I go throw up.