Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Some Things Are Not Meant To Be

If you know me at all, you know I like movies. I like the deep, thoughtful ones, and I enjoy the frivolous, popcorn ones. I feel that any idea could turn in to an entertaining movie (unless it's an idea from Tyler Perry or Michael Bay). So I was shocked and horrified when I learned that Cracked.com had made a list of movies that should not be made! Inspired by the announcement that there was going to be (and I'm not making this up) a movie based on the game Monopoly, they asked their readers to make fake movie posters of the worst movie ideas/adaptations ever and then posted them on their site. I actually found the list quite funny, though and I'd like to share some of them with you:

The problem with this one is that no one can play Matlock like Andy Griffith. . .except maybe Raymond Burr. . .or Sam Waterson. . .or William Shatner. . .

The sad thing is, this adaptation could actually happen! The children of the 70s have now grown up and are feeling nostalgic. And Ferrell and Reily do make a good comedic team. . .

Now this one could work. It's a popular game, everyone knows the premise, and you never know who's going to win in the end!

Science nerds everywhere are DROOLING for this one! They're sure it's going to be box office "Au!" ZING!

I've been WAITING for the movie to come out so I don't have to read the book!

I put these two together to help those who wouldn't have made the connection on their own. Plus, these two movies together would HAVE to be better than the Super Mario Brothers Movie.

I really like the cereal (where's Boo Berry????), but these two odd-looking actors in the same movie could be hazardous.

I hope they make this one because I wish nothing but success for Vin Diesel. No. . .wait. . .I'm thinking of Steve Zahn. I don't like Vin Diesel or his movies.

This one would be good for me, because it might actually make me somewhat interested to do faux-math in little crossword puzzle boxes and feel semi-intellectual for a while.

This is a personal indulgence of mine, but I couldn't stop laughing at the idea of this movie. Kim represents all that is reprehensible about the TV show 24 (that, and Season 6 of 24).

The question is. . .does this film actually work? It seems so simple!

If the original game made thousands of children want to be doctors. . .this movie will stop that.

If they make this one interactive and give everyone NES light guns, I am SOOOOOOOO there!

While watching this film in theaters, no cellphones or children under 6 are allowed because you have to be. . .vewwwy, vewwwy qwiet! ZING AGAIN!!

But J.J. will not tell you where the hippos came from or why they are hungry. He'll just create a ton of questions and leave it to speculation on the internet.

And finally. . .my favorite idea that shouldn't be made into a movie!

I stil iz LOLing!

So there you go. Hope you enjoyed it. If you think any ridiculous ideas for film adaptations were left out, feel free to mention them in the comments section.



Lobbie said...

Bahahahahahaha. You should ask Kabe or Matt to show you the movie posters for our next show. The one I am very proud of is "I am Living Legend" complete with Will Smith in a Living legend costume.

But I have to say the Leviticus one here cracked me up! I had a morsel of joy to start the day right!

Mike said...

I love it! That Hungry Hungry Hippos one makes me laugh out loud - hippos are dangerous animals you know.

Here are some others I think shouldn't be made:

Cooties: The Final Outbreak

Bad Boys 4: BYU Ticket Cop (I hope the bad guy wins in this one)

Office Space 2: My Job
(this one isn't a comedy..)

The Shark said...

I think my favorite one was "Kim". I only recently started watching "24" and just got through season 2, and frankly am unimpressed with most aspects of the show (not including the President Palmer storylines, which I actually really enjoy).

I hear that seasons 3 and 4 are great, so I will definitely watch them. The show hasn't been bad enough to make me want to entirely give up on it yet, but I honestly wonder what the writers were thinking with Kim and MOST of the women on this show. If I were a broad, I'd take offense at the fact that they portray almost every female as an idiot.