My dad is the type of guy who wants complete realism in movies. He wants people to be injured in car crashes instead of walking away completely unharmed. He wants the apartment tenants to call the police as soon as they hear gunshots in the alley. He wants Kate Beckinsale to be in more movies. . .wait. . .that's me. He prefers Teri Garr.
Anyway, I think that my dad would enjoy movies a lot more if they had followed the laws of physics a little more. Take, for example, Star Wars. I love the films (not the books though - the books are for complete nerds and dweebs!), but when the Rebel fleet, led by Admiral Ackbar and Lando Calrissian, enters hyperspace from Sullust to begin the Battle of Endor in 4 ABY they end up destroying the Executor-class Star Dreadnought and it explodes. . .in space. See the problem here?
There is no air in space and, therefore, there could be no fire/explosions. There could also be no sound, so those cool noises made by the Tie Fighters or the Millennium Falcon going into light speed are also not very realistic.
However, would I take those away from the movie completely? Probably not. But, for my dad's sake, I'd like to show you a world where Newton's first law (an object in motion stays in motion, except after "C") holds true.
Behold the alternate, more realistic ending of Return of the Jedi:
Awkward!
This video was made by a self-proclaimed jerk called Thunderscreech and I, for one, was quite entertained.
Dad, I hope you were, too.
4 comments:
Ha! I love the stunned silence.
That was awesome!
...but there was still an explosion in space... wasn't that the whole thesis of this rationally thought out blog posting? that this sort of malarkey couldn't happen?
i feel kind of hoodwinked.
thankfully, today's graph jam still made my time here worthwhile.
(p.s. my word verification is "stsheris." i think we need to celebrate st. sheris day.)
Jeff, I refer you to the fourth paragraph of the post,
"However, would I take those away from the movie completely? Probably not. But, for my dad's sake, I'd like to show you a world where Newton's first law (an object in motion stays in motion, except after "C") holds true."
Feel hoodwinked no more, my friend.
Happy St. Sheris day!
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