Monday, April 30, 2012

Baby, Baby, Baby, Ewww

Who doesn't like a good origin story? It's human nature to want to know how an actress got her big break, how a band formed or how a superhero got his powers. But how far back do we need to go to feel satisfied? I, personally, am fine with jumping into the story of Spider-Man when he's a teenager and living with his Uncle Ben and Aunt May. I don't really need to know what happened to his parents, although I'm told we're going to find that out in the upcoming reboot.

Now, let's go farther (further?) back in someone's history.

Bruce Wayne. We have to go back to his late childhood in order to get the whole story. But we don't really need to see what happened before his parents were killed, because Bruce becoming an orphan is where the story of Batman begins (Hey! That's where they got the name for that movie!).

Now let's go further (farther?) back.

Kal-El. For you non-nerds out there, Kal-El is Superman's name before he was even known as Clark Kent. Knowing that Superman was a baby on the planet Krypton before he came to earth is vital in understanding who he is. Knowing that Kal-El's real father's name is Jor-El just makes you look more like a geek, especially when you bring it up at every party you attend.

But do we really need to go back farther (forther?) in time than that?

Alexandre Nicolas thinks so. This French artist decided that the world needed to see the true origins of superheroes -- in fetal form! Why? Well, probably because he's a French artist.


Holy epidural, Batman!

"Has he lost his mind?
Can he see or is he blind?
Can he walk at all,
Or if he moves will he fall?"

All of Peter Parker's wall-crawling abilities are useless in the womb.

"Lois Lane could never have Superman's baby. . .only someone like Wonder Woman has a strong enough uterus to carry his kid."

It's slobbering time!

All of that hair is going to give her Amazonian mom some serious heartburn!

Don't make him fussy. You wouldn't like him when he's fussy.

And don't worry, super villains, you haven't been left out of the disturbing artwork gallery:

This may be odd, but it makes more sense than the Catwoman movie.

Why so Caesarean?

And Monsieur Nicolas hasn't just limited himself to the comic book realm, he's also done movies:

"There was no father. I carried him, I gave birth, I raised him. I can't explain what happened."

Video games:

So before you guys go objectifying Ms. Croft, remember that she is somebody's baby.

I always thought Mario and Luigi were twins. I guess not.

And, of course, Hitler?
He may be a horrible, despicable, poor excuse for human being, but I have to give him props for being able to grow a stache so early.

If you'd like to place some blame on being thoroughly disturbed for the day, you can thank alert reader, Mitch for sending this article in. You can also head over to Alexandre Nicolas' website to see the rest of his. . .um. . .artwork.

Sweet dreams!

1 comment:

Bethany said...

I kind of like the Spider-man and Mario ones. They're not so creepy. Maybe because they just look like mini ones and not a fetus.

I don't like The Joker at all. Or Superwoman. Very creepy.