Monday, October 5, 2009

Sucks to Be You, University of Florida

I'd hate to be the University of Florida right now.

They used to be ahead of the curve, on the cutting edge, ready for anything, and now?. . . now they're just sitting ducks.

What am I talking about, you may ask? Zombies, of course! In case you didn't guess that, Hi, I'm The Former 786, welcome to my blog (zombies seem to be a reoccurring theme here).

The UF website includes a number of different services, one of which is Emergency Management. In this section, they have different materials that inform people how to conduct themselves during a variety of hazards and natural disasters. Until recently, there was a section on their site about zombie preparedness - I kid you not.

An employee at the school's academic technology office thought it was important to inform people as to how to respond when the living dead arrived, so he put it on the UF website "as a joke." In this disaster preparedness plan, the author points out how to recognize a zombie (or "living impaired") outbreak is occurring (i.e. "documentation of lots of strange moaning") and what kind of impact a zombie outbreak would have on the campus ("the spread to institutional administration may complicate policy making"). The report also discusses other important topics such as proper hygiene during an outbreak as well as policies and procedures for dispatching an infected coworker.

It's a very useful report. In fact, it will keep things organized because it also includes an "Infected Coworker Dispatch Form" that allows you to document each and every member of the undead you put back into the grave, so that others may learn which method is the most effective.But APPARENTLY the University of Florida administration is already infected and their brains have turned to mush, because they took this article off of their site. UF spokesman Steve Orlando told the press that the university didn't think that this report belonged on their site alongside "actual" disasters. Now, I know you're not supposed to shoot the messenger, but when the zombie apocalypse hits UF, I bet Mr. Orlando is going to be one of the first ones to go.

The employee was not punished.

Click here to read the full report. It's actually quite entertaining. You may even want to print this out in case you feel a zombie apocalypse is imminent, inevitable or immediate. Then you, too, will be more prepared than the University of Zombie-food.

Be safe, and happy hunting!


Lobbie said...

I would give a promotion to the employee who did this! At least they had enough of a sense of humor to not fire him.

Jaime said...

that, is, AMAZING, that they actually had that on their site. and... what a sour puss to take it off. BORING.