Ho-Ho-AAAAAAAAAAAAND THEY'RE STILL SCARED OF SANTA!!!!

If you're a faithful reader of this blog (and let's face it, who isn't?), then you've come to expect the annual post where I show pictures of children who are scared of Santa and then add a silly caption. After all, I've done it for the last four years. Well, I am a slave for tradition, so here we go again.

Bring it on, Santa!

Santa was pleasantly surprised to find the youngest chimney sweep in London.

Give that Santa a cookie - he deserves it.

"Qu'est-ce. . . qui êtes-vous?"

Julian found it hard to do the YMCA when he was clinging on for dear life.

Kayla and Gavin were horrified to find that Santa had a series of notebooks on their misdoings of the past year.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaveeeeeeeee Mariiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"

Lily's attempt at camouflaging her face to match her dress was 80% complete.

"Mom! Santa just slurred my name!"

"Pssh! That's my sister, Maggie. Always making a big deal out of nothing. Typical."

Seriously?! Brenda, please don't turn around.

"Mommy! The REAL Santa would be able to wrap presents better than that!"

Zane, you're doing great. Santa, can we try it again, but with a little less leering?

No matter how fancy the border was, Lexi and Amanda would not be placated.

Britney was not a fan of the smell of bourbon.

"Save me. Leave the other one."

Merry Christmas, faithful readers. Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!

Ho-Ho-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAND IT'S BECOME A TRADITON!

If you're a faithful reader of this blog - and, let's face it, who isn't? - then you know that each Christmas season for the past few years, I've dedicated a post to Santa Claus and frightened children. Well, I've decided to make it a tradition, so here we go once again.

"Hello, ladies. Look at your Santa, now back to me, now back at your Santa, now back to me."

Madison was not a fan of the movie Fred Claus, and she felt this Santa looked a little TOO much like Paul Giamatti.

Sydney's instincts were right - if the hair doesn't match the beard, it's a fake Santa.

Wyatt was terrified, but his mom was really enjoying the massage from Jolly Old St. Nicholas.

"HEY ABBOOOOOOTT!!!"

Luckily for Jennifer, she knew about the secret escape chute.

*Gulp*

"Whoa! I did NOT sign up for this!"

When Maureen heard Santa say "Now dash away!" she took it literally.

Santa was caught off guard by a sudden warm sensation on his knee.

"Ew! No! Why???"

"Did you see the chompers on this guy, Ma?"

Even Nikki's signature scissor kick was useless against the man in the red suit.

"Ew! He's touching the floor, mom! That means he has germs. Germs, mom! GERMS!"

Santa attempts to quiet the Baker Brothers by bashing their heads together.

Wine & Cheese

When his sister pulled down Santa's beard, DJ knew he'd been taken for a fool.

"Moooooooooom! He smells like reindeer breath!"

Fear - now in 3D!!!

Charlotte knew that the only defense against Santa Claus was a good zombie impersonation.

Asha and Reeyen were not pleased with the American tradition of forcing children to sit on a sweaty man's lap.

"Weeeeeeeeeee! Best roller coaster EVEEEEEER!"

"Find a happy place! I'm in ballet class! That's right, I'm a pretty ballerina in ballet class and not here! Not here!"

That'll teach him.

"Kris Kringle stole my hands!!"

"Say, mista, cantcha help a fella out? I'm dyin' hea, mista!"

"Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawn. Morning, Mom. Where are we?"

"Ewww, Dad. He has poo on his lap!"

It's a drive-by frightening.

Margaret was just having a bad hair day and didn't appreciate being photographed.

I call this one "The Kinetic Motion of Fear."

"Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease!"

It was bound to happen at some point.

May your days be merry and bright, and may all your Christmases be white!

Ho-Ho-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGAIN!

I did a post like this last year, and I had a lot of fun doing it, so I decided to give it another go.

Here are some MORE pictures of children who don't seem to be quite grasping the holiday spirit:

Allison was suddenly suspicious of the cookie she was given.

"Imposter! Imposter! The mustache doesn't match! Alert the authorities!!"

Aubrey is doing her best to stay brave, despite Santa's Breath.

"I see a tunnel! With a very bright light at the end! Take me! Take me now!"


Carson found his best defense was to camouflage himself as Santa's outfit.


If you watch closely, you can actually see Charlotte and Grayson shaking.


Cole isn't scared of Santa, he's just disgusted with how commercial Christmas has become.


"Mommy? What's wrong with Santa? He seems sad and he's slurring his words."


If you've ever wanted to witness the face of terror, this is it.


Looks like it's a lump of coal for each and every one of the Fulton kids this year.


"Ewww, Mom! He smells like Egg Nog, moth balls and B.O.!"


This is the moment when Isabella learned that her head didn't detach from her body - as she had previously hoped.


TERROR SPANS ALL TIME!


Santa seems to be reading the label on Jordan's back to see where she was made so he can send her back.


Kathryn and Ellie are crying for their parents, but no one will answer. . . no one will answer.


"WHAT IS WITH THESE DECORATIONS??? THIS DECOR IS AWFUL!! CALL AN INTERIOR DESIGNER STAT!!!"


Kenna let a long, sorrowful moan of despair escape her lips, oblivious to the gleeful indifference of her dumb brother.


Santa's shushing could not quell the fear of Lazarus.


Even with a mom buffer, Lily knew very well WHOSE lap she was sitting on!


"Je suis si plein de la crainte! Je suis ainsi effrayé! Est-ce que personne ne peuvent m'aider? Je suis malheureux! Svp, j'ai besoin de l'aide!"


"I'm a tree! I'm a tree! And trees don't have to sit on Santa's lap!!"


Side-saddle Santa doesn't want you to let the kids know that he is behind them - just in case.


Will is going for the standard crying, while Olivia is trying the "if I can't see him, he's not there" method.


Santa breaths a sigh of relief that Owen is taking most of his aggression out on his own father.


Phoenix is shocked and horrified at the price list for Santa photos he's looking at.


Rocco tried to be tough, but the tears just wouldn't stop.


No where in any of his books or movies had Roman seen Santa surfing - this was not right.


"What is the matter, Sanjiv? Do you not know that this is the man who brings us candy and toys? Stop your crying, brother, or you'll ruin it for the both of us!"


Santa seems genuinely hurt that Lainey didn't like him.


"Here's the deal, kid. You look down, I'll look up, and we'll both pretend you're not here peeing on my lap."


Tony wasn't fooled, he knew this was going to be a horrible picture from the get-go.


The Three Stages of Fear: Nervous Smile, Shifty Eyes, and Open Weeping.


No, this kid isn't crying, he's just trying to hit that high note on "O Holy Night."


Hey, if you're a Santa without a mustache, it's no surprise you're going to upset the kids.

JAZZ HANDS!

So there you go. If you want, you can go to the site where these photos came from and browse through hundreds of Scared of Santa pictures and create your own captions. Fun stuff.

Also, as an added bonus, here are two more pictures of my own daughter's experience with Santa:

We thought Kaylee would be ok with Santa, especially considering all the preparations I'd done with her. . .


. . .we were wrong.

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!