Freeze, Agent Scully!

I'm watching the X-Files again, faithful readers. I decided I wanted to see them all again, in order from beginning to end. Yes, I'm that nerdy. I have fond memories of my family and I sitting down on Sunday evenings to watch The X-Files together when it was on the air -- that is, of course, until the alleged remote-throwing incident of 1999. . .

But I digress.

In the history of television, there are few characters as unflappable as FBI Special Agent Dana Scully (as portrayed by the award-winning actress, Gillian Anderson). This medical doctor has seen all sorts of amazing and horrific things throughout the course of the show, yet she always seems to maintain her composure.

Unless you hit the pause button.

Believe it or not, there is a blog out there dedicated to the funny faces Agent Scully makes when people press the pause button at the various times during an episode.

Here are some of my favorites:

"Mmmm! These gumballs are sour!"

"Ah. You've found my secret lair, Mr. Bond. Welcome."

"Derr, don't throw the ball so hurrd!"

"How you like my sessy face?"

"Telemarketers? Ick!"

This one just creeps me out. I have no caption.

"Hey sailor."

"Ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffrench fries."

"THERE IS NO SCULLY, ONLY ZUUL!"

"Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeere's Johnny!"

Agent Scully is possessed and not impressed.

"Whassa matter, occifer? Was I spreeding?"

"*sniffle* Why they gotta pause my face like that? *sob*"

You can check out more Scully freeze frames on the Pause Face Scully website. My thanks to, alert reader, Ben for bringing this to my attention.

And my apologies to Ms. Anderson. We love you, Scully!

We All Scream for Goat Screams!

Last week's post was pretty lengthy, so I'm going to keep this one short and sweet. Are you faithful readers okay with that?



Good.

This probably doesn't shock you, but talking animals make me laugh. So when I found out that goats sometimes make noises similar to humans, it tickled my funny bone and I immediately sought out as many talking goat videos as I could find -- laughing all the way.

Then, alert reader, Mitch sent me this super cut compilation, which I would like to share with you now, so you don't have to go searching the interwebs for these clips. They're right here in one easy-to-digest video!



Not bad, eh? By the way, if you didn't laugh at that goat spitting and yelling at that man, you obviously have no sense of humor.

And just when I thought I couldn't enjoy screaming goats more, this video came along and made my week:


Unusual animal noises + pop culture =  hilarious!

So the moral of the post this week is. . .uh. . .goats are funny. . .

Don't you agree?



I thought so.

Ho-Ho-AAAAAAAAAAAAND THEY'RE STILL SCARED OF SANTA!!!!

If you're a faithful reader of this blog (and let's face it, who isn't?), then you've come to expect the annual post where I show pictures of children who are scared of Santa and then add a silly caption. After all, I've done it for the last four years. Well, I am a slave for tradition, so here we go again.

Bring it on, Santa!

Santa was pleasantly surprised to find the youngest chimney sweep in London.

Give that Santa a cookie - he deserves it.

"Qu'est-ce. . . qui êtes-vous?"

Julian found it hard to do the YMCA when he was clinging on for dear life.

Kayla and Gavin were horrified to find that Santa had a series of notebooks on their misdoings of the past year.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaveeeeeeeee Mariiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"

Lily's attempt at camouflaging her face to match her dress was 80% complete.

"Mom! Santa just slurred my name!"

"Pssh! That's my sister, Maggie. Always making a big deal out of nothing. Typical."

Seriously?! Brenda, please don't turn around.

"Mommy! The REAL Santa would be able to wrap presents better than that!"

Zane, you're doing great. Santa, can we try it again, but with a little less leering?

No matter how fancy the border was, Lexi and Amanda would not be placated.

Britney was not a fan of the smell of bourbon.

"Save me. Leave the other one."

Merry Christmas, faithful readers. Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!

Ho-Ho-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAND IT'S BECOME A TRADITON!

If you're a faithful reader of this blog - and, let's face it, who isn't? - then you know that each Christmas season for the past few years, I've dedicated a post to Santa Claus and frightened children. Well, I've decided to make it a tradition, so here we go once again.

"Hello, ladies. Look at your Santa, now back to me, now back at your Santa, now back to me."

Madison was not a fan of the movie Fred Claus, and she felt this Santa looked a little TOO much like Paul Giamatti.

Sydney's instincts were right - if the hair doesn't match the beard, it's a fake Santa.

Wyatt was terrified, but his mom was really enjoying the massage from Jolly Old St. Nicholas.

"HEY ABBOOOOOOTT!!!"

Luckily for Jennifer, she knew about the secret escape chute.

*Gulp*

"Whoa! I did NOT sign up for this!"

When Maureen heard Santa say "Now dash away!" she took it literally.

Santa was caught off guard by a sudden warm sensation on his knee.

"Ew! No! Why???"

"Did you see the chompers on this guy, Ma?"

Even Nikki's signature scissor kick was useless against the man in the red suit.

"Ew! He's touching the floor, mom! That means he has germs. Germs, mom! GERMS!"

Santa attempts to quiet the Baker Brothers by bashing their heads together.

Wine & Cheese

When his sister pulled down Santa's beard, DJ knew he'd been taken for a fool.

"Moooooooooom! He smells like reindeer breath!"

Fear - now in 3D!!!

Charlotte knew that the only defense against Santa Claus was a good zombie impersonation.

Asha and Reeyen were not pleased with the American tradition of forcing children to sit on a sweaty man's lap.

"Weeeeeeeeeee! Best roller coaster EVEEEEEER!"

"Find a happy place! I'm in ballet class! That's right, I'm a pretty ballerina in ballet class and not here! Not here!"

That'll teach him.

"Kris Kringle stole my hands!!"

"Say, mista, cantcha help a fella out? I'm dyin' hea, mista!"

"Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawn. Morning, Mom. Where are we?"

"Ewww, Dad. He has poo on his lap!"

It's a drive-by frightening.

Margaret was just having a bad hair day and didn't appreciate being photographed.

I call this one "The Kinetic Motion of Fear."

"Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease!"

It was bound to happen at some point.

May your days be merry and bright, and may all your Christmases be white!