Sunday, May 24, 2009

Please Don't Squeeze the Story

I've admitted before that I occasionally will read while in the bathroom. And it's no surprise, based on some of the entries of this blog, that I enjoy a good scary story every now and then. So imagine the joy that I felt when I found out that these worlds have wonderfully collided.

The problem with books in the bathroom is that once they've been in the bathroom, they're tainted for life. It's the same with magazines - if you take them in the bathroom they will always be branded as bathroom literature. This is why you never want to buy used books off of the internet - they've probably been read in the water closet.

A Japanese company has created a solution for this problem - just flush the book away. Koji Suzuki, the author of "The Ring" has put his new 9-chapter novella on toilet paper. Yes, that's right, toilet paper. Apparently the toilet has a history of horror in Japan. Bathrooms are, apparently, traditionally haunted in Japan and parents even tease their children about (and I'm not making this up) " a dark, hairy hand" that would reach up out of the toilet and pull them down "into the dark pool below." That sounds counter-intuitive to every potty-training method we have here in the United States.The book is called "Drop" (stop giggling) and it is actually set in a public restroom. This is kind of like watching Jaws while on a boat, watching The Blair Witch Project in a forest, or watching The Grudge 2 in the midst of really bad actors and horrible screenwriters. The short story only takes up about 3 feet of the roll (measure it yourself at home, kids!) and can be read in one sitting, according to the manufacturer, Hayashi Paper. And it's only $2.20 a roll for the scariest time you've ever had in the loo (not including the time after that Taco Bell eating contest)!

Now if I just knew how to read Japanese characters. . .


--jeff * said...

do you think that the dvds i've bought off the internet have also been in the bathroom??

it's a great idea, but what if you want to read it again? or if someone else uses the bathroom before you do have time to read all three feet?

The Former 786 said...

Yes, Jeff. You should burn your DVDs.

And the story is only 9 chapters, I believe, so it repeats again and again for HOURS of fun!

Nelson said...

This is a fantastic idea. I'm a big bathroom reader. So big that whenever I browse Barnes & Noble I have to go. I'm not exaggerating. Just typing Barnes & Noble causes a little movement (pun intended).

The Former 786 said...

Pun appreciated.